Everyone can agree that Schmidt is the best character on "New Girl". The random, witty, obscure and hilarious things he says make him lovable. Here are some moments
that express why we love him.
1. That one time he made a great pun with his name.
"Schmidt happens. Thumb ring, bitch! You've got some Schmidt on your face."
2. Everytime he had to put money in the Douchebag Jar.
Schmidt: "Damn it! I can't find my driving moccasins anywhere."
Nick: "JAR!"
3. That one time he put on his 'mono because he just wanted to "hang loose, man."
"Friday night, gentlemen. It's ON. It's on and poppin' up in here, ya feel?"
4. That one time he wanted a lionfish and only a lionfish.
"I don't want some janky fresh-water bitch fish, Winston. I want a lionfish."
5. That one time he peed internally just to get the loft's parking spot.
.
"Reason number two for the no-nail oath: Bitches be crazy."
6. That one time street youths vandalized his car.
"My tires were stolen by street youths!"
7. That one time he faced his fear of dead people.
"I'm not afraid. I can do this all day. All day, son. All day! All day!"
8. That one time he revealed that his childhood was a bit interesting.
"I had figure skating lessons since I was thirteen, and then my mom sobered up and realized I was a boy."
9. That one time he cried and didn't care who saw him.
"I am a human being, and I'm entitled to my emotions."
10. That one time he practiced what he would say to Cece and then Nick walked in and didn't think it was weird that he was talking to himself in the mirror.
"You're my boo and I been missing you. I been missing you oh so long."
11. That one time he got excited about going to see Jess' friend, the OBGYN.
"I'm asking more so out of curiosity than fear, hashtag excitement."
12. That one time he threw a fit about not being able to get a lionfish, but we all knew he was really talking about Cece.
"Gimme it! Why can't I have the things that I want?!"
13. That one time he (drunkenly) rapped about Nick.
Winston: "This is a sad song. This is the saddest song in the whole world."
Schmidt: "Nick Miller, Nick Miller, from the streets of Chicago, 'cause the players play like they do like they did."
14. That one time he broke his penis and compared it to bees dying and the terrible economy.
“Know this: you're not the only one that's hurting here, Jessica Day. The economy stinks, bees are dying, movies are pretty much all sequels now and I have a broken penis. Don't pretend to know my pain."
15. That one time he shared his true feelings about bathtubs.
"Bathtubs are medieval filth cauldrons."
16. That one time he wouldn't let the wood of poor people into his home.
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"Get rid of it, Jess. Pine has no place in this loft."
17. That one time he wanted to help Winston get back to his roots and find the good crack.
"Well, I suppose we could just get out and ask any of these street youths. I don't want to ask the wrong person and end up with some subpar crack. I want the fresh crack you know, not some crack that has been lying around all day."
18. That one time Schmidt sang about how fat he was.
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"We built this Schmidty on Tootsie Rolls."
19. That one time he started listing all the things that he loved from India to impress Cece.
“Well, you know, I love Slumdog… pepper, Ben Kingsley… the stories of Rudyard Kipling. I have respect for cows, of course. I love… the Taj Mahal, Deepak Chopra, anyone named Patel… I love monsoons… I love cobras in baskets. Naveen Andrews. I love mango chutney… really any type of chutney…"
20. That one time he made a promise to Cece and kept it.
"Girl, I'mma marry you."
