You might think that your family is completely dysfunctional and embarrassing, but trust me when I say that somebody always has it worse.
At the same time, if you actually dread going to family gatherings, then I know what your problem is right away: you don't have many cousins. Cousins are actually God's gift to you.
People your own age who actually know what it's like to grow up in the 21st century? All while being challenged and pushed by the same sets of aunts and uncles to be the best all of the time? You're always compared and sometimes things can get ugly, but through thick and thin, nobody will ever have your back like your cousins.
With the holidays coming up, that equals family time. Here are all of the ways that your cousins will be your saving grace through it.
1. The kids' table is the place to be. If you're lucky like me, the adults have actually placed you all in a completely separate room in the house, and Christmas dinner consists of you guys taking turns stealing plates of shrimp from the main table.
2. You all hate the same aunt or uncle. And roasting them at said table is a great time.
3. There's also the one cousin who has the most hated ex in the family. Or maybe it's still a current relationship. Either way, they aren't exempt from the roast.
4. You can always count on them to have another drink with you.
5. Cousin time is never awkward. You just pick up right where you left off last time, no matter how long it's been.
6. You all laugh when the great-aunt gives everyone calculators as presents.
7. It's established who will be in charge of kicking out the younger cousins when one of them comes into the room asking who wants to play Scattergories.
8. Seriously. More wine, please. Who's with me? All of you? Fantastic.
9. The exchange of "What's the craziest thing you did this semester?" tales will be a glorious break from being asked what you're going to do with your major.
10. Air hockey, anyone?
11. Family inside jokes will never get old.
12. And neither will references from your unanimously chosen favorite television show.
13. If one of you is missing, then you all send passive aggressive texts to the person at the same time asking how their day is going.
14. You know that you can poke fun at whomever you want, and nobody will get sensitive about it.
15. You don't have to dress to impress your cousins. In fact, if one of you shows up totally done up, they receive condescending comments immediately.
16. Everyone has a group to hang out with. Older cousins can stick with older cousins, and the younger ones with the younger ones.
17. "Remember when..." stories are the best way to laugh until you cry. The history you share with these people is literally forever.
18. In fact, there's probably still an argument going on about who won that backyard Wiffle Ball game, the boys or girls, back on Easter of 1999.
19. They couldn't care less whether or not you have a boyfriend/girlfriend. It won't even come up.
20. You can all worship your grandma, AKA the prettiest girl in the family, together.
People say that cousins are your best friends, but they're more than your best friends. They're blood. We all know that it warms the parents' hearts to see the kids getting along, and that's exactly what we do.
