Senior year is here at the Woo, and it already feels like I’ve been here two months. Time is dragging a bit. Not that I’m not enjoy my last year here. Quite the contrary. Just need a little bit of help to mix it up a bit and not fall into the same routine as I have been the past couple semesters. Hopefully these can help you too as they’ve helped me.

1. Sit in on your old FYS class to “freshen up” for I.S.
2. Change your I.S. topic every week for the first month to let your advisor know you’re a wild card.
3. Attend a networking event with the alumni association, when asked about your major say you are a self-designed meme tattoo studies and philosophy double major.
4. Buy a diploma frame from the book store and explain to the cashier it’s because you want to “beat the rush”
5. Refuse to buy textbooks because it is your last year.
6. Take up smoking as a hobby to better prepare yourself for the 9-5 life style.
7. Cash in on this new hobby by taking “Federal Mandated” smoking breaks during your class.
8. Always now your rights.
9. Buy land in Wayne County and say it’s for your retirement dream home.
10. Donate 20 grand to the Wooster fund as a senior. Say you did it to cement your spot as a future trustee.
11. Join mid-level marketing jobs and blatant pyramid schemes throughout the year to “bolster the ol’ resume.”
12. Transfer without doing I.S.
13. Get married under the arch the morning after I.S. Monday.
14. Go on a spring break trip before even finishing I.S. Email your advisor asking if it’s cool if you just email it to them.
15. Email a varsity coach and ask if it’s not too late to suite it up for the Scots.
16. Rotate going to Market Grill, Leroy’s, Nold Ave, and the Ugly Duck every day for happy hour, become a regular, befriend a local, meet a divorcee, become a father figure to her kids, start new life, coach little league team, run into I.S. advisor at Buehler’s, snap out of daze, finish I.S. abandon new family, live life with regret wondering about them, cry ever so slightly.
17. Return all your old Hartzler’s milk jugs that you have accumulated over the years without washing them.
18. Have multiple small run ins with security throughout the year, then thank them in your I.S.
19. Have Jimmy Johns delivered to you at Lowry.
20. Turn in I.S. but fail orals because you were on the golf course.

*All of these will ensure you will be here for a 5^th year.