20 Things I Learned From My 80 Year-Old Grandpa
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20 Things I Learned From My 80 Year-Old Grandpa

13. You’re a fool if you pass a UDF without stopping for ice cream.

20 Things I Learned From My 80 Year-Old Grandpa
Josh Wientge

In my 21 years, I’ve learned a lot. Much of what I’ve learned can be derived from many people, places, and experiences. One of those people is my Grandpa Kingsley. Recently, King turned 80. In honor of his 80th birthday, I’ve decided to compile a list of lessons I’ve learned from the man with whom I’ve spent several years riding in a gas truck, delivering propane, and eating fried food. I was going to make a list of 80 things, but no one wants to read something that long. Instead, I decided to settle for 20. So, here is my list of “Wisdom From The Propane Truck.”

1. Six White Castle sliders, immediately following lunch, is still considered a snack as long as you don’t get a side with it.

2. If the place you’re eating has the word “kitchen” in the name, you’ll leave full of regret and impending diarrhea, but you won’t be hungry.

3. The world is your urinal as long as you don’t get caught.

4. The best way to block out your haters is by simply turning off your hearing aids

5. Sometimes, not knowing everything that’s going on in any given situation is the best way to maintain your sanity. Just accept the fact that you’re not in control of everything and everyone.

6. Just because people are different than you doesn’t mean you can’t be friends with them.

7. If you’re worried about your sugar levels, just use Splenda. They both taste the same when poured on top of a salad.

8. Sometimes, the best way to teach someone is by graciously letting them make mistakes until they get it right. Practice makes perfect.

9. Gratitude does, in fact, determine your attitude.

10. There’s never a wrong time to eat pie.

11. Just be yourself and one day you’ll be on a first name basis with everyone in Southwestern Ohio.

12. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Life is too short to pussy-foot.

13. You’re a fool if you pass a UDF without stopping for ice cream.

14. Don’t waste a minute of your life. Get to the approaching stop sign or red light as fast as you possibly can. Put the pedal to the metal only to slam on the break and screech the tires a moment later.

15. Your work day isn’t over at five o’clock. It’s over when the job you’re doing is done.

16. Smart-phones are overrated.

17. Your “short-cut” will always take longer than the route your grandson’s GPS will take you. However, by taking it, you can point out all the houses that you’ve installed water-heaters in. That being said, the scenic route usually comes with a story and is always worth taking.

18. A better name for cigarettes would be “cancer sticks.”

19. Propane hookup is much simpler than it seems. Don’t be afraid to start learning something you know nothing about. We were all beginners at one point.

20. Appreciate the people around you with actions, not just words. Support them. Listen to them. Show up for them. Celebrate them.

All that to say, I hope that, when I’m 80, I’m as content, warm-hearted, and care-free as my grandpa. Happy Birthday, Kingsley!

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