I have some hot friends. A lot of them. Like, they deserve a calendar – each month, a new picture that captures the way their eyes squint when they laugh or the way they mindlessly run their hands through their hair or always sit with their legs crossed or stare at the ground when they’re in search of the right words. There is something so attractive to me about the physical mannerisms and appearance of people that I love. But complimenting the way they look sometimes feels like I’m doing them a disservice. I never want to give them the impression that the way they look is the easiest thing to compliment them about. Even though I think they are all drop-dead gorgeous, I also think that is the least interesting thing about them. There is much, much more worth talking about. And so I’ve compiled a list of compliments that have nothing to do with appearance that I would give. Feel free to reference it.

1. If you were ever the inspiration for a character in a TV show, you’d have a fan base wider and more passionate than Jim & Pam Halpert’s.
2. You are as much fun on Monday mornings as you are on Saturday nights.
3. Your passions are contagious. I’m still not sure if I actually like Hemingway or if I just like the way your eyes light up when you talk about him.
4. Your Snapchat stories always make me lol and I want to screenshot them all.
5. Talking to you for 30 minutes leaves me feeling more intelligent than the vast majority of the classes I’ve taken throughout my higher education experience.
6. Your laugh could turn on the lights of an entire city during a power outage.
7. I would give you the passcode for my phone.
8. Whenever a party is playing nothing but on-point, crowd-pleaser throwbacks, everyone smiles and nods in understanding when they see that you’re the one that’s DJ-ing.
9. I like the way your mind works.
10. You are the most interesting. If Kanye West ever had a conversation with you, even he would prefer to do more listening than talking.
11. I crave time with you more often than I crave milkshakes or pizza and at least equally as often as I crave donuts.
12. I’m going to be very pissed if this moment with you ever ends.
13. There isn’t a single version of my imagined future that you aren’t a part of.
14. Your Patronus wouldn’t just make Dementors fly away, but they would probably just combust and the entire Dementor population would cease to exist and all the other Patronuses (Patronusi?) would bow down to yours.
15. You make me want to be a nicer/smarter/better person than I currently am. You make me want to improve. You make me want to grow.
16. Spending time with you is refreshing and reenergizing. Every single time.
17. I am quite convinced that you are the only possible human that could have inspired Ed Sheeran to write “Thinking Out Loud.”
18. If you were a candle scent, it would be a best-selling candle. It would beat out anything with “vanilla” in the name by a landslide.
19. I’m so happy that people like you exist.
20. And if more people like you existed, this world would be a brighter one.