Growing up, there are things that grown ups will teach you and things you will have to teach yourself. Some things, you will actually have to un-teach yourself. Even in just one year, I have learned so many new lessons that I wish I had known before that will help me immensely in the future. I constantly have to remind myself that I'm young and to keep my mind open to things I may have not even considered before. The world is changing and we all are too. Here are 19 things I have learned by 19.
1. You are your own, before you are anyone else's.
This took me much longer to learn than I wish to admit. Never forget who you are or compromise yourself for someone else. No one is in charge of you but yourself.
2. Stop rushing to grow up.
As my freshman year in college comes to an end, I see all these high school seniors and even juniors counting down the days they have left. Don't get me wrong, I am so happy for them that they're so excited about their futures, but they aren't cherishing the days the have left. I would love to have just one day back in high school; to go to prom again, to not have homework each night, or even just one last senior football game. Trust me, having two papers, one speech and three exams all on Friday is not something to be too excited about.
3. Leave your past in the past.
You are not your bad decisions or failed exams. You will grow and change and become something entirely different in a few short months. We are constantly changing into better things. Don't let what has come and gone keep you from thriving.
4. Wear whatever you want (and it's OK to like makeup, or not).
Seriously, wear whatever the hell you want. One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone asks you what you are wearing or comments on how much makeup I'm wearing. It is perfectly OK to be interested in makeup or wear things that you deem appropriate for your body. It is your body; do you.
5. You don't have to like something just because every one else does.
If you don't agree with the bandwagon everyone around you seemed to jump on, you don't have to join them. Like your own music, your own style, your own you. You don't have to be like everyone else because society says so.
6. Go outside more.
Netflix and the gym will always be there. Hike a mountain with your friends or your dog instead. Go canoeing, or find a lake to swim in instead of a community pool. Explore. One day you might be too busy to.
7. Do what makes you happy.
Don't go to a college or into a major simply because that is what others want for you. In fact, if you don't feel ready for college right out of high school, take a year off. Focus on you and your health.
8. Don't apologize for what you don't regret.
If you yelled at someone because they were being an asshole to you, don't apologize. If you don't want to kiss that one guy, don't apologize. You don't always owe someone an explanation.
9. Do not dwell on people.
If someone breaks your heart or pulls you through the dirt, it is OK to be sad for a little while, but do not let it last long. In three years you won't remember how many times they made you cry or think of them every one of your days. They will have moved on and so will you.
10. Speak up when you have something to say.
Don't hold back when you want to be heard. Holding things in won't get you anywhere.
11. Be creative.
Write down your thoughts; they may lead to a book. Spend your time expressing yourself rather than in front of a TV.
12. Take more pictures.
You're going to want to remember your first dance or that time you and your friends went to watch the sun set on the mountain. You'll look back years from now and remember things you may have forgotten.
13. Don't hold onto grudges.
That girl that you supposedly "hate?" Smile next time you see her. Grudges are wasted energy on people that don't deserve your time, or maybe just need a second chance. When you stop worrying about them you realize how trivial it was in the first place.
14. Success is based on perspective.
You could be successful by acing a test or simply going for a run a couple times a week. Maybe you found a job that pays sh*t but you don't even care because you get to do what you love. Success is what you make it to be, not what others tell you to be.
15. It is OK to put your mental health first.
If you need a day to catch up on sleep, or even just lay in bed and drink some tea for a while instead of studying for that test at the end of the week, do it. Your brain will thank you and in the end you'll be happier and healthier because of it. If you aren't happy, is it worth it?
16. Listen before you speak.
Before you judge, answer or question, make sure you really heard.
17. Regret is scarier than a decision.
If you're too scared or unsure of something, do it anyway. Regret is what keeps you up at night and makes you write lists like these when you're 80 years old and the chances have passed.
18. School doesn't determine your intelligence.
Memorization means nothing. Love, attitude, will and perseverance does.
19. "Do no harm but take no sh*t."
Find your voice.
