This past week I turned 20, and let me tell you, the whole week leading up to it I was dreading it, I was freaking out that I was about to turn 20! I know this might seem miniscule to some, but some people might understand my struggle, so this article is for them, because I too, was freaking out.

Growing up, I would always see my cousins that were older, my brother’s friends, and people around me when they were around 20, and I was so excited to turn 20. To me, they seemed like they had their life together, they seemed happy, however, know looking back who knows, I was a little kid, I didn’t know about depression, or anxiety. Everyone has their own troubles.

For some reason, in my head, I had this idea of what my life would be like by the time I turned 20, I would be close to college graduation, maybe have a boyfriend, have great skin and hair, know what I want to do with my life, etc. I had all these ideas of what 19 leading to 20 would be.

However, 1 out 4 of those things I listed is true; college graduation. So my life is nothing like I pictured it would be, at 19 I discovered the nasty cocktail of anxiety and depression, and it has been difficult.

My teen years where some of the best, and saddest years of my life. I had a lot of personal growth within the age of 13 to 19, many people tell me that i’m mature for my age and that’s because of everything that I’ve gone through. So naturally I was afraid to turn 20, and what that year would bring. Everyone told me that 20 feels just like 19, but I was mostly afraid of what that year would bring. So here’s to 20, may it be fabulous and bring me good things, here’s also to all those that were nervous of leaving their teen years behind, and moving into a new decade. May we all find what we are looking for eventually.