Sometimes there are realities in this life that we wish could be different -- for instance, one might wish that The Beatles had never broken up, or that people expressed love and joy more freely, or that boobs would do the boob-thing without the bra on. Whatever it may be, there are always going to be problems unique to us that we wish we had the power to change. But what if you woke up one day, and did? What silliness would you impose upon the world? What serious alterations would you make? Here are 19 silly but totally serious things that I would choose to change or make different.
1. Dogs would live forever.
Because, well, they deserve it.
2. Lactating coffee would be possible.
I mean, think how much money we'd all save.
3. Spiders would not exist.
We can all agree that the world would be a much better place this way.
4. People would need to pass an evaluation before they could reproduce.
Bottom line, some people just aren't fit to be parents. Which is completely fine, except for the fact that they keep having kids anyway.
5. Pumpkin would be a year-round flavor.
There's just no reason to limit the wonderfulness to one season.
6. Ellen Degeneres would be president.
Witty banter, clever remarks, and a kind heart. Just imagine the inauguration speech.
7. And Louis C.K. would be vice president.
8. Peanut butter would not have calories and neither would Nutella.
Two of the greatest gifts to Earth should be able to be eaten in copious amounts. It's 2015, this should be a thing by now.
9. Every guy that complained about being friend-zoned would automatically become stepson-zoned.
You know, immediately marry their father. Ultimate revenge.
10. Clothing would be optional.
No more leg prisons or Satanic underwire bras.
11. There would be more art.
Art. Art everywhere -- comforting the disturbed and disturbing the comfortable.
12. There'd be a Tinder, except strictly for girls' friendships.
Hey girl, what're you up to? Wanna drink mimosas and watch serial killer documentaries?
13. Meal orders would go as followed: pre-breakfast, breakfast #1, breakfast #2, breakfast #3, snack, lunch, snack, snack, dinner, snack.
This just seems like common sense.
14. Nobody would shove any sort of ideology down anyone's throat.
15. When people lied, their noses would actually grow.
16. Face contouring would actually be as easy as it looks.
17. Before people died, they would be offered the option of meeting all the different versions of themselves living in other people's minds.
18. Mean people would be forced to listen to Chanel West Coast's laugh on repeat until they decided to be nice.
19. "Harry Potter" would be real.
