It is January 1st, 2019. I'm in my house after a long night of working, then I'm going to hang out with my friends to ring in the new year. I am sitting on my couch, thinking of all the scary things that can come out of 2019, and I'm getting pretty scared for the future.
However, this year I'm turning 19 years old on February 6th. There's so much I've gone through throughout my life up to this birthday. So many things have changed me and made me into the person I am today. So, I decided to write about it all and hopefully let some people know what might be coming in their future.
I hope I can help you out with a new endeavor and get you to think about your future.
1. College
I have been in college for a whole semester so far, and I can already see the personal growth between when I first came into college and now. Within the next 4 years, I can see a whole new person emerging out of Shippensburg University. I hope to have the life I have always dreamed after college and I hope to remain the same person, but I can already tell these 4 years will change me for the rest of my life.
2. Aloneness
I really am still not sure if this is a real word, but I googled it and it said it was so I'm going with that it is. How I feel about this is that it is literally mandatory to have some alone time with yourself every day. I love people, helping people and being around friends. However, I know I need time throughout the day to be by myself to wind down after the day is done.
3. Lonlieness
You might be asking, what is the difference between #2 and #3? That's where my understanding of myself comes into play. Being lonely is okay, but being lonely for a long period of time is not okay. I know it seems when you're lonely, it'll stay that way forever. However, there are so many people in this world and it is good to know that you will never be lonely forever, especially if you love your own self's company.
4. Meditation
I have written an article about the benefits of meditation already, and you can read that here. However, the benefits of meditation have completely changed who I m and my personality. I made very haste decisions before and have gotten angry over little things in the past. With the help of meditation, I have tried to combat that and it has been working. The negative thoughts that once took over my brain have sufficed and I have started to feel a lot better about my situation in life and with other people.
5. Exercise
The benefits of exercise have been talked about by almost every single person ever, but I know that exercising has absolutely changed me. I only started going to the gym regularly my first semester in college, and I already see a difference in myself, not just physically, but emotionally. I have had a lot of confidence issues in the past, and some days I didn't want to get out of bed because of how hard it was to live my day to day life. But now with the help of exercise, I feel healthier than ever and I am so happy to be alive. If interested, I wrote more about my exercising journey and you can read about that here.
6. Relationships
I have met a lot of people in my 19 years of life, many of who have changed the way I view myself and others. I have always said that relationships are never perfect and they never will be, no matter if they are romantic relationships or not. I have seen myself change and mold into different people FOR different people, and I have realized that is not at all okay. I have learned to never change yourself for other people because in the end, you will be remembered for the person you are, not for the other person.
7. Happiness
Happiness is hard to find in day to day life sometimes, especially if you don't search for it. It has been so important to me to try to find the happiest things in my day to day that keep me going. This has molded me into a person who is generally happy with every day they wake up, which has been a long time coming and super hard to let myself think this way. Just like anyone, I have the little rain cloud over my head and I don't see anything to be good. However, when those days come, I have to see the bright side, and then the rainbow comes. Remember, everything you are going through is temporary, and you can always make it through.
8. Toxicity
I really think I have to be a magnet to toxic people because a lot of people in my life have turned out to be toxic for me. I have had to cut off way too many people out of my life for the things they have done to me, but I know it's only made a stronger person. The people I have in my life have been around for quite a while and I know they all benefit me in some way positive and are in no way toxic. Through all the tears and fights with old friends, I gained an understanding of people and who is good for me and who isn't.
9. Perception
Perception is so important to me and important for everyone to understand. Perception to me kind of goes back to happiness. I want to live the best life I can and in order to do that, I feel that I had to change my perception of my personal situation. Instead of saying I don't want to do this homework or I feel sad here at college away from my family, I learned to say that I am happy to be here and be getting an education that most people wouldn't have the opportunity to get. Perception is really hard to understand and change, but it is important for you to change your perception in order to have a good and happy day to day life.
10. Music
From my darkest moments in life, I have always turned to an outside source for comfort. For a lot of my life, this outside force was music. Whether it be happy music to make myself feel better, sad music to hear other people relate to what I'm going through, or just shuffling all my songs because I need to hear something, I have always turned to music. I have had so many artists and lyrics that stick out when I say they've changed my life. I feel that no matter what I'm going through in my life, there's always a song I can go to.
11. High School
The person I am today from the person I was in middle school has changed immensely, and that is all due to high school. The dynamic of high school is completely different than anything else in the world, and I will never forget the person that high school changed me into. I think high school opened me up to a lot more types of people and the type of people I like and I don't like. At the end of the day, high school was really hard, but it changed me into a completely different person.
12. Stubbornness
My stubbornness has gotten me into so much trouble in my life. I have gotten into so many arguments and fights where they all come back to me not being able to hear the other persons side. Even though stubbornness has gotten me into a lot of trouble in the past, it has helped me remain the person I am. I am very stubborn about things that I feel strongly about, so I am very confident in my beliefs. I have had to loosen up my stubbornness in a lot of my life because I need to hear what other people's beliefs and opinions are.
13. Honesty
Honesty is a slippery slope when you get older. Sometimes it's hard to know if it is better to not tell the truth or tell a little white lie to not cause drama or stir the pot. I have learned in the long run, little white lies turn into bigger lies that could be used against you. It is much better to be known as a person who always tells the truth rather than a liar. Also, a lot of your friends will appreciate you for being honest with them rather than lying to them.
14. Self Care
Self-care is pretty self-explanatory, but if you don't know, self-care is when you set aside time to care for your mental state and being. I have always pushed this off because I am a very people oriented person who just wants the best for others, and not necessarily for myself. I have now realized this is a huge problem and I need to start caring for myself the way I do others. Self-care has made me more aware of my own issues and how I address them, and it has also made me a much more relaxed person
15. The Law of Attraction
If you don't know what the law of attraction is, in basic terms, it is when you try to attract something in the universe to you. This can be done with anything, as long as you believe you deserve it and it is attainable for you. You can google different procedures on how to do this because it really is different for every person, but I know it has helped me a lot in my life and made me realize that when the universe doesn't help me out in attaining a certain thing, then I really don't need it.
16. Work
I have had a lot of jobs in my life and I actually just started a new job this semester. I have always been interested in working because I'm the type of person that always wants to have something to do and I don't like to not be busy. So, I started working when I was 14 because I just wanted to start early. Through working in foo service (which all my jobs up to my newest job have been), I have learned a lot about composure and staying positive while bad things are happening. This is so hard sometimes, but it is something I carry with me throughout my life.
17. Family
My family has obviously shaped me into the person I am today. Not only my immediate family, but my whole family has the same personality type, but every single person is different in their own way. My family has taught me how to be outspoken, how to stick up for what I believe in, and how to have fun and stay positive, even in the worst times. I get a lot of my humor and way of living from my family, and I could not be more thankful for them. Without my family, I don't think I could ever be the 19-year-old girl I am today.
18. Friends
I have had some really bad friends in the past, which relates back to toxicity. I have had "friends" manipulate me, lie to me, talk about me behind my back, and so much more. However, since I am now 19, I have learned that people who do all those things are not at all my friends and do not have my best interest in mind. Cutting off fake/ toxic friends is so important, but so hard. Now that I have done that, I am left with the best friends I could ever hope for. Everyone in my life right now deserves to be here because they care for me, are not fake and will be upfront about a problem, and love me.
19. Myself
I have changed myself in these past 19 years quite a lot, to be honest. I have done this in order to appease people, I have done this in order to appease myself, and I have sometimes done this for the betterment of myself. But, for the most part, I usually have changed myself for other people to like me or accept me. However, this has taught me that the people that love me would never want me to change, and in order for me to love myself, I have to not want to change.
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