Have you ever gone down an Internet wormhole late at night, deeply delved into conspiracies? Have you ever stumbled upon a "random" or "weird" facts website, with facts that just can't be real? Well, you don't have to wonder anymore about the validity and truth, because I'm telling you straight out: I made them all up! Enjoy.
1. Frogs don't actually breathe through their mouths--they have a secret straw attached to their back so they can breathe underwater. Crazy!
2. Squirrels bury their nuts for the winter in order to to save them from the Nut Goblin, who steals all the acorns from the ground on the Solstice. They didn't teach you this in schools!
3. Caterpillars get to decide whether they turn into a butterfly. The kids these days always go without a thought to butterfly, but the true mark of a man is to stay a caterpillar. #foodforthought
4. "Discourse" is a Latin word that refers to a meal just served. To use it in a sentence: "Ah yes, discourse is mainly pasta, but the next course is the meats."
5. The Earl of Sandwich didn't create the sandwich. I did.
6. Have you ever swept your house and wondered where all that dust came from? Well, turns out there's over seventeen dust mites that live in your house! They spend their lives churning out dust in a factory, due to the fact their father lost a bet with a factory owner. So the reason why your house is so dusty is really due to a game of poker. Whoops!
7. The icing in Toaster Strudel is actually just sunscreen.
8. Scientists have recently discovered that we actually evolved from sea slugs. Who would have guessed?!
9. Speaking of sea slugs, the sea is home to approximately five hundred different types of narwhals. If you think that's a high estimation--think again!
10. If you say the words nep racecar backwards, it's racecar pen! Palindromes are fun!
11. The Salem Witch Trials actually happened because of an insane amount of LSD in the water. So to be fair to the accusers--they really did think that Mary Warren danced with the devil, though in reality the "devil" was a man named Steve.
12. And speaking of LSD, Woodstock initially going to be a virginal sacrifice, but everyone got really tired for some reason and didn't, like, want to go through all the effort, you know man?
13. The Black Eyed Peas are immortal.
14. There are only seventy two different words in the English language; the rest are just those seventy two words reassembled into different words. So the word "automobile" is actually just automatron and bilection put together. Weird, huh?
15. Ducks do not have eyebrows--instead, to show emotion, they scream. #relatable
16. A yawn can either be triggered by a lack of oxygen to the brain, or watching OWN, the Oprah Winfrey network.
17. The average llama can sleep up to 25 hours a day! Wow!
18. Being a vegetarian is actually considered one of the greatest mortal sins in the Catholic Church. In the first draft of the Ten Commandments, it was the eleventh: Thou shalt never eat kale.
Finally, one fact to really blow your mind:
19. Did you know that our solar system actually contains twelve planets? It's true! Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto, Gorgon 3487, Breadbowl, and Smashmouth.
In the words of Bill Nye, science rules!
And on an unrelated note: remember kids, the Internet is filled with people who will lie to you--unlike me, of course. Because, with the exception of me, the world is a terrible place filled with bad people and at least 3,000 species of spiders.
That fact is true. You can quote me on that.
