I'm just an average college student doing average college student things. I date, I go out, I study. Throughout my entire life, making friends was the easiest, but keeping them was the hard part.

Boys were always the ones who would influence my so-called friends dissipate, especially in high school. I was the girl who always had a boyfriend which gave off this vibe that I don't have time for friends when in reality they wouldn't make an effort to hang out anymore.

After leaving high school, I have two friends that I keep in touch with every once and a while.

I get jealous when I binge watch Gossip Girl or Grey's Anatomy and see what friendships could be like. I am still searching for my Blair Waldorf or my Christina.

I am 19 and I haven't met my person. Should I feel like something is wrong with me? Should I feel like I'm not good enough to have that person?

I have not met my person who I can completely trust in and can tell them anything (really, anything) and feel no judgment what so ever. I have not met my person who tells me I'm beautiful and always lifts me up when I am down.

And to be frank, it sucks.

It sucks because when there is heartbreak, hardship, or even when I am facing a hard decision, I don't have that person to tell me what to do or to keep me moving. I don't have that person to tell me everything will be okay.

Sometimes I have to be that person for myself.

Don't get me wrong, I have great friends which range from people I see only in my classes to people who I go out with, but I don't have that one person that I can pour my life into.

I'm not saying I'm lonely or friendless, I just haven't met that person who gets me.

I have friends that I party with. I have friends who I study with. Why can't I have someone who I can do it all with?

The one thing that keeps me going is that I know she is out there. My person, future bridesmaid, and even God mother is out there and I will meet here someday.

And I cannot wait to meet my person because I know when I do that I won't have to do this thing called 'life' by myself.