18 Things That Will Make You Feel More Colombian Than Ever

18 Things That Will Make You Feel More Colombian Than Ever

"And then God said, 'Let there be sexy people!' so he made Colombians"

I grew up in one of the most Colombian families you will ever meet in your life and I would not trade them for anything in the world. I think the reason for them holding on to their Colombian roots so tightly is the fact that not all of us can go back. At times it may feel as if we are holding on to a thread but it's the little things that really remind us of where we all came from. Here are just a few that will make you feel the most Colombian you have ever felt (even if you really aren't).

1. Coffee... Coffee... and more coffee

It is rare for everyone to be home all at once in a day but when we are, we make coffee at least four times. And yes, we can still take our naps.

2. Your eye twitches a bit when people type Columbia instead of Colombia

*shivers* I need more coffee.

3. Every single picture of James that ever existed.

And let's all take a moment of silence and remember when he cried after Colombia vs. Brazil in the 2014 World Cup.

4. The smell of fresh pandebono

So cheesy and comforting...

5. Hearing someone else speak with a Colombian accent

I cannot even begin to explain how giddy my mom feels when she hears another Colombian person talking in public. It's like they've known each other for years and share the same struggles.

6. The amount of curse words that came to mind when Miss Colombia was dethroned.

It's alright. We were all thinking the same words.

7. The joy and excitement you feel when Colombian soccer fans take over the streets with flags and trumpets whether we win or lose.

8. When you point at something with your lips instead of your finger

You learn something new every day.

9. The intro to "No Le Pegue A La Negra"

10. Whether you have period cramps or a cold, aguapanela is the cure

(and if you're feeling extra Colombian, you add some Colombian cheese inside)

11. Watching relatives unravel bags of Bon Bon Bum, Jet, Quipitos, Manimoto, Frunas, Nucitas, Chocoramo, and last but not least, Supercoco

12. Empanada grease running through your veins

If you don't know what these are, you and I are gonna have problems.

13. Eating all your meals with Arepa on the side

Seriously, every meal.

14. Maluma

Enough said.

15. At one point, this was your go-to bag (or maybe it still is)

16. Always responding to your mom with "señora?" because you knew your life would be in danger if you didn't

17. Hearing "pongase las pilas" (put on your batteries)

18. When someone says Colombian women are the best

My all-time favorite meme.

Cover Image Credit: http://www.oneworld365.org/category/volunteer/colombia

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35 Major Life Facts According To Nick Miller

"All booze is good booze, unless it's weak booze."

Fact: If you watch "New Girl," you love Nick Miller.

You can't help it. He's an adorable, lovable mess of a man and you look forward to seeing him and his shenanigans each week. While living the infamous and incomparable life of Nick Miller, and obviously Julius Pepperwood— he has learned many valuable laws of the land. And, although Nick refuses to learn anything from anyone besides his mysterious, old Asian friend Tran, he does have a few lessons he'd like to teach us.

Here are 35 facts of life according to 'Nick Milla Nick Milla':

1. Drinking keeps you healthy.

"I'm not gonna get sick. No germ can live in a body that is 65% beer."

2. Dinosaurs never existed.

"I don't believe dinosaurs existed. I've seen the science. I don't believe it."

3. A paper bag is a bank.

"A bank is just a paper bag but with fancier walls."

4. Having sex is similar to delivering mail.

"I'm like a mailman, except instead of mail it's hot sex that I deliver."

5. Moonwalking is a foolproof way to get out of any awkward situation.

Jess (about Nick): "Now he won't even talk to me. I saw him this morning and he just panic moonwalked away from me. He does that sometimes."

6. Using a movie reference is also a great way.

Cece: "Come on, get up!"

Nick: "No, I don't dance. I'm from that town in "Footloose."

7. There's no reason to wash towels.

Nick: "I don’t wash the towel. The towel washes me. Who washes a towel?"

Schmidt: "You never wash your towel?"

Nick: "What am I gonna do? Wash the shower next? Wash a bar of soap?"

8. Exes are meant to be avoided at all costs (especially if/unless they're Caroline)

"I don't deal with exes, they're part of the past. You burn them swiftly and you give their ashes to Poseidon."

9. IKEA furniture is not as intimidating as it looks.

"I'm building you the dresser. I love this stuff. It's like high-stakes LEGOs."

10. You don't need forks if you have hands.

Jess: "That's gross. Get a fork, man."

Nick: "I got two perfectly good forks at the end of my arms!"

11. Sex has a very specific definition.

"It's not sex until you put the straw in the coconut."

12. Doors are frustrating.

"I will push if I want to push! Come on! I hate doors!"

13. All booze is good booze.

"Can I get an alcohol?"

14. ...unless it's weak booze.

"Schmidt, that is melon flavored liquor! That is 4-proof! That is safe to drink while you're pregnant!"

15. Writers are like pregnant women.

Jess: "You know what that sound is? It's the sound of an empty uterus."

Nick: "I can top that easily. I'm having a hard time with my zombie novel."

Jess: "Are you really comparing a zombie novel to my ability to create life?"

Nick: "I'm a writer, Jess. We create life."

16. All bets must be honored.

"There is something serious I have to tell you about the future. The name of my first-born child needs to be Reginald VelJohnson. I lost a bet to Schmidt."

17. Adele's voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.

"Adele is amazing."

18. Beyoncé is extremely trustworthy.

"I'd trust Beyoncé with my life. We be all night."

19. Fish, on the other hand, are not.

“Absolutely not. You know I don’t trust fish! They breathe water. That's crazy!"

20. Bar mitzvahs are terrifying.

Schmidt: "It's a bar mitzvah!"

Nick: "I am NOT watching a kid get circumcised!"

21. ...so are blueberries.

Jess: "So far, Nick Miller's list of fears is sharks, tap water, real relationships..."

Nick: "And blueberries."

22. Take your time with difficult decisions. Don't be rash.

Jess: "You care about your burritos more than my children, Nick?"

Nick: "You're putting me in a tough spot!"

23. Getting into shape is not easy.

"I mean, I’m not doing squats or anything. I’m trying to eat less donuts."

24. We aren't meant to talk about our feelings.

"If we needed to talk about feelings, they would be called talkings."

25. We're all a little bit too hard on ourselves.

"The enemy is the inner me."

26. Freezing your underwear is a good way to cool off.

"Trust me, I'm wearing frozen underpants right now and I feel amazing. I'm gonna grab some old underpants and put a pair into the freezer for each of you."

27. Public nudity is normal.

"Everbody has been flashed countless times."

28. Alcohol is a cure-all.

"You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol. You treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol."

29. Horses are aliens.

"I believe horses are from outer-space."

30. Turtles should actually be called 'shell-beavers.'

Jess: "He calls turtles 'shell-beavers."

Nick: "Well, that's what they should be called."

31. Trench coats are hot.

"This coat has clean lines and pockets that don't quit, and it has room for your hips. And, when I wear it, I feel hot to trot!"

32. Sparkles are too.

"Now, my final bit of advice, and don't get sensitive on this, but you've got to change that top it's terrible and you've got to throw sparkles on. Sparkles are in. SPARKLES ARE IN."

33. Introspection can lead to a deeper knowing of oneself.

"I'm not convinced I know how to read. I've just memorized a lot of words."

34. It's important to live in the moment.

"I know this isn't gonna end well but the middle part is gonna be awesome."

35. Drinking makes you cooler.

Jess: "Drinking to be cool, Nick? That's not a real thing."

Nick: "That's the only thing in the world I know to be true."

Cover Image Credit: Hollywood Reporter

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