I’ve been writing in journals since the 7th grade and in the eight or so years since then, I’ve been filling my keepsake drawers with notebooks of all shapes and sizes. I always said it would be fun to look back on them one day and see what I wrote, and this winter break I finally decided to do it. Some of it was hilarious, some of it was still relatable today, and some of it made me want to start a bonfire with its pages.
The following is a compilation of 18 actual lines from my 18 journals in no particular order. If you’ve ever wondered what journaling for that long is like, or if you’re a life-long writer yourself, here’s an ode to the ups and downs of growing up on paper and all the awkward phrases in between.
1. "My dad says I throw pity parties, but don't we all just a little bit?"
2. “You see, Coke launched an ad campaign with cans that say ‘Share a Coke with…’ followed by a common name or title. I have had a Berenice, Mariana, Andrea, Esther, Adolfo, Ivan… and no Amandas. It really is upsetting. I was hoping my exceptionally common name would serve me well for once."
3. "Past is past. It is behind you and nothing you do will bring it back. Lo que paso paso. What happened, happened."
Do you remember that time in your childhood when everyone was weirdly obsessed with Hispanic culture, with songs like "Gasolina," "Que Paso Paso," and possibly the most notable song "Macarena" getting everyone to rush the dance floor?
4. "Confrontation. It feels like a dirty word, doesn't it? Like you'd go in for a pap smear at your gyno's and she'd say, 'I'm sorry, but you have a case of acute confrontation.'"
5. “And it’s not as if I’m pining over [my exes], but I get hurt in love nine out of 10 times, so it’s this residual hurt that regurgitates itself every once in a while. It’s figurative heartburn."
6. "When you spend a few semesters here and every professor you have wants a different 'better' writing style from you, you realize that a person's preferred writing style should be taken as seriously as someone telling you their zodiac sign."
7. “One day when I’m baking cookies in the kitchen of my first house with my daughter, will I remember that time I ruined my Easy Bake Oven by trying to put a plastic tray in there?”
8. "What was once praised as 'exceptional' was now simply average for an 'advanced' student. I never understood that term. What makes one kid 'gifted?' How do you decide which kids are 'special?'"
9. “I’m about as transparent as a goldfish. No, not the bowl it lives in – the actual fish.”
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10. "Do not and I repeat, DO NOT go to IHOP, order the largest breakfast possible, scarf it down and then proceed to go to a tiny fair with rickety rides and think it's a good idea to spin as fast you possibly can without dislodging the teacups at the end of your period while wearing jeans in the Texas heat."
11. “My God, someone pinch me. I think I might have grown up a little.”
12. "They say that a person dies twice - once when they stop breathing, and the second when their name is said for the last time. I think this is a lot like a breakup. The first time is when you officially split and the second is the last time you mention their name."
13. “Today I’m grateful for the invention of the ponytail holder.”
14. "In case you don't know what Uggs are, they look like this. (Drawing here.) Future daughter, I will disown you if you try this fashion statement."
15. “Here’s to 6-year-old me who thought being 16 was going to be the time of your life – you couldn’t have been more wrong.”
16. "My stepmom got me a pair of ninja/genie-looking pants which are literally the most comfortable pants I own, but are also a little weird because... Well, I'm now the proud owner of a pair of ninja/genie pants."
In case you were wondering what ninja/genie pants looked like, what I was trying to describe was similar to black joggers with a stretchy athletic material. This was before the time of athleisure. I still own this pair of pants.
