Like most young teens, the moment I turned 16 and was able to get my driver's license was the same moment I went out and got a part time job. I was excited, the world was my oyster. GameStop was going to be the beginning of the greatest time of my life.
Looking back to 16-year-old me, 22-year-old me has to laugh. Working in retail has been almost none of the things I thought it was going to be. It is not exciting. Something new does not happen every day. In fact, it's a lot of the same. And a part of that sameness is a certain number of phrases I hear every day.
Although some of them are specific to GameStop, I'm sure every retail worker can relate.
Here are 17 phrases you hear every day if you work in retail:
1. "It must be in the back."
Yes, because the back room is a mystical land where you can find everything missing from the front. Even things we don't sell in this store exist in the back room.
2. "My card didn't go through. It must be free."
Ha ha ha. You are so funny. It's not like I haven't heard that same exact joke 500 times today.
3. "Do you work here?"
Is my name tag not large and precise enough for you?
4. "Can I speak to your manager?"
I AM my manager but thank you for asking.
5. "You don't mind if I just grab this one thing do you?"
Oh no. We just close in two minutes. Grab an extra 50 things while you're at it.
6. "Why isn't the coupon working?"
Probably because it expired last year.
7. "This is really expensive."
Ma'am, if I had the ability to change the prices, I would be in a posh office in New York City, not at a register in Pittsburgh.
8. "Is there a bathroom?"
It's only for employees.
9. "Yeah, but I can use it anyway?"
The bathroom is in the back, and I can't show you the back because, as stated before, it's the mystical land where we keep all the things we don't want to sell—it's also a liability issue, but let's not get into that.
10. "Why don't you have it in stock?"
Surely just to spite you.
11. "I'll take my business elsewhere."
I'm not stopping you.
12. "You should really smile more."
Sir, I've been on my feet for the last 8 hours and have had zero breaks all day. I will smile when I get home and am able to drink my feelings.
13. "Do you have *insert oddly specific item* that we clearly do not sell in the store."
Does it look like we sell groceries here, in this store of gaming and electronics?
14. "How long have you worked here?"
Long enough for the life and hope to drain from my eyes.
15. "You don't really like video games, do you?"
No, you caught me. I've been slaving away in this store for years now solely to keep up that "fake gamer girl" persona I am so desperately coveting.
16. "Is this game too old for my son?"
Your son looks to be about 10-years-old, and you are holding "Grand Theft Auto." Surely you don't need me to answer that question for you.
17. "Thank you."
This is the rarest, but it always brings a smile to my face and makes my day so much brighter.
Retail may be the worst, but there are kind people everywhere, and they show up when you least expect it.
