Everyone has heard something crazy about the state of Florida. The “Florida Man” headlines circle the Internet and there has been talk that Florida is considered the Australia of the United States because most things that the state has can kill you. There are stereotypes about my state that are usually true, but there are also some things that only a true Floridian will understand.

1. When you step outside into the heat and humidity.

It creates an instant bad hair day and everything is sweaty.

2. When someone asks us if we love fall.

Fall? What’s fall?

3. When people freak out over a six-foot alligator.

That’s an average sized gator.

4. The excitement when Mom brings home a Publix Chicken dinner.

The best fried chicken bought at a grocery store.

5. When you see someone hand a cashier sweaty money they pulled from their bra or socks.

Then the look of pity you give the cashier when they have to reluctantly take it.

6. When something touches your foot in the ocean.

7. When the temperature drops below 70 degrees Fahrenheit.

(Reaches in closet and brings out heavy coat.)

8. When the news says there will be a hurricane.

I don’t get out of bed for anything less than a Category 3.

9. When you are invited to a hurricane party.

They are the best kind of party.

10. When you hear a tourist say it doesn’t rain in Florida.

(Seriously, I’ve heard someone say that.)

11. When you see the first Love bug of Love bug season.

They ruin everything.

12. Your annoyance when the snowbirds get back to their winter homes here in the sunshine state.

Snowbird (noun): Retired Northerners who come down to Florida to avoid the snow.

13. When you see another “Florida Man” headline.

Seriously, It’s giving a bad reputation.

14. When you get back in your car and touch your seatbelt and steering wheel.

They burn like a fire from the deepest pits of hell.

15. When your mom makes you put on bug spray even to just go in your backyard.

The smell of bug spray reminds me of childhood.

16. When you hear northerners talk about snow.

Snow? It doesn’t exist, like unicorns.

17. When you see Daytona Beach on spring break.

You’ll never make that mistake again.