If you currently frequent a college campus or choose to surround yourself with Wall Street nerds, you have probably heard all about the explosion in the Bitcoin market. The value of Bitcoins is skyrocketing, with each individual "coin" checking out at more than $18,000. Everywhere I go, I hear people fangirling over the thought of owning a piece of their very own Bitcoin. My roommates and I even watched a whole documentary on Netflix about the currency craze. I mean, I guess I sort of understand why people are so amped, as it's the first user-powered "decentralized peer-to-peer payment network"...
OK, no, I still really don't get it.
And while I'm happy for all of you who are so jazzed about this whole "investment opportunity of a lifetime," can we please talk about something else? I even have a few suggestions:
1. How amazing "Lady Bird" is.
Seriously, I have never seen a more relatable movie and Saoirse Ronan is my new girl-crush forever.
2. How New Year's Eve is the most overrated holiday.
Especially as college kids. Everyone is home and forced to reconnect with their high school friends that they don't really have anything in common anymore and only talk about other people from your high school.
3. Dogs.
Because, I mean, come on. Dogs are the gift to earth that humans most definitely don't deserve.
4. How Leslie Jones actually vomited in her mouth during a sketch last week's episode of "SNL."
Equal parts disgusting and amazing.
5. Why shots are a thing.
They honestly taste like Satan's tears except worse. BRB, gagging just thinking about them.
6. How Buzz Lightyear didn't know he was a toy but still knew to freeze when humans came around.
Can anyone say plot hole?
7. Who is the real Scranton Strangler?
Is Toby good for it?
8. How is cheese made?
Reality is, I don't care, I just want more of it.
9. How weird it is to see Zooey Deschanel with blond hair in Elf.
I can only see her as Jess.
10. How I should have been wearing my retainer for the last three years and now my teeth are shifting.
Somehow I don't think I can pull off the gap-tooth look quite as well as Georgia May Jagger.
11. How coconuts are disgusting and if you think otherwise you are a sick, sick person.
Again, BRB, gagging.
12. How "Pitch Perfect 3" should definitely not be happening.
When is the sequel EVER as good as the original...LET ALONE THE THREEQUEL.
13. How hard "Pitch Perfect 3's" advertising team is pushing "Pitch Perfect 3."
I swear I see the trailer at least 12 times a day. You are really just setting yourself up for failure, guys.
14. Why there isn't a burrito form of Jimmy John's.
Sometimes I just really, really, really need a burrito delivered to me. And by sometimes I mean all the time. OK, for the sake of my bank account and waistband, maybe it is a good thing this doesn't exist.
15. How dark the beginning of "The Santa Clause" is.
Y'all remember that Tim Allen essentially kills Santa, right?
16. Dogecoin
Sure, it's a meme currency, but in 2014, people raised more than $35,000 for the Jamaican Olympic bobsled team with it.
17. How, despite being a cartoon lion, we all know Mufasa is hot.
RIP you beautiful, luscious-maned, DILF of a creature.
