No matter what year you are, packing for college is a pain. In fact, it may actually get harder the older you get. either way, there is a definitive process we go through every year. It sounds a little something like this:
Stage 1: Resolution
Like a ton of bricks, it hits you that the month of August is drawing to a close, as is your summer. Reluctantly, you realize you need to get your act together and prepare to head off to college. You're over the age of 18 now: an adult in the eyes of the law, and it's time to nut up and take some responsibility in your life. The first step toward embracing adulthood: packing up.
Stage 2: Assessment
You throw open your closet doors and glaze over all your clothes, then begin to maniacally throw them all to the floor. You look over your mountain of pants, shirts, dresses and the like, crack your knuckles, and get to work.
Stage 3: Determination
You don’t have THAT many articles of clothing to pack. I mean, how long could this take, really? Two, maybe three hours? NBD. You're a boss, you've got this.
Stage 4: Power Streak
You have this shit on lock. You are on a roll. Hell, you're even having a little fun. You are the queen of packing, it just comes naturally to you. Why were you ever fearing this?
Stage 5: Realization
As the master of packing, you deserve to slow down a little. You thought you would get this done in a couple of hours? Please. It's been less than 30 minutes and you're already, what, a third of the way done? Take it easy, packing kah-ween, you've earned it.
Stage 6: Full-Blown Procrastination
So much for taking it easy. You are now far more engaged with Netflix than assembling your wardrobe for the semester. You consider returning to the grind, but sitting on the ground and folding infinitely many shirts sounds incredibly unappealing. You'll get back to work after this episode of "Orange is the New Black." It is also at this stage that you decide to stop packing for an hour or two and write an article about the 15 stages of packing as told by "Broad City" gifs. #meta.
Stage 7: Parental Interjection
Well, one episode has turned into two and a half, and your mom/dad/grandparent/sibling just made some snarky remark about how you’re clearly getting nothing done. Why can't they just let you live your life? Time to get back to work.
Stage 8: Discovery
Yet another distraction arises. While shifting through all you're clothes, you come across a few pieces you haven't seen in a while. Next thing you know, you're lapsing into a full-blown rom-com-style outfit montage. The only difference is you are alone in your room.
Stage 9: Power Streak Part II -- The Trance
You have entered into another streak, but this time it’s more like a mindless robot folding and stacking, folding and stacking, folding and stacking…
Stage 10: Subsequent Combustion
Inevitably, this outburst has caused you to crash, once again. Your little robot brain has overpowered and now you simply cannot compute. The weight of all your belongings is now on your shoulders. You can't fathom how at one point, you thought this was easy. How naive you were.
Stage 11: Defeat
Even though you're sure you'll never live to see this project completed, you still hold out some hope as you drone on at a glacial pace.
Stage 12: Acceptance
Who are you kidding? Of course you're done. Its 100 percent over.
Stage 13: Admitting You Need Help
Or more appropriately, enlisting someone you probably love to lift you from the dystopian hellscape mess your room has become. Admitting you need help is the first step. You've hit rock bottom, but now you're on the upswing. With renewed determination, you get back to work.
Stage 14: Powering Through The Pain
Time to throw caution to the wind and just finish this once and for all. You get your final burst of energy and get to work. You've got clear eyes, a full heart, and you will not lose.
Stage 15: Making Legitimate Progress
Floor space is clearing up and everything is fitting perfectly. The end is in sight, and soon you'll be able to leave your house and get back to the bustling world outside.
Stage 16: Completion
You are now done. Zipper your suitcase up and bask in all your glory. You could cry tears of joy at this point, and it's all becoming very, very real. Summer is coming to a close faster than you wanted it to, and now you've got something tangible to prove it. Whether it's your freshman, sophomore, or even your senior year, the feeling is always bittersweet.
Stage 17: Sealing The Deal
Put that suitcase in the trunk, it’s time to hit the road. College awaits. May the odds be ever in your favor, and get stoked to pack it all up again nine months from now.