Is writing totally your jam? Do you fall in love with canonical literature? Is your dream to be as awesome as your 10th grade English teacher? You should be an English Major.

1. You thought reading “The Great Gatsby” in high school wasn’t so bad.

So you kept reading F. Scott Fitzgerald over the summer.

2. You read the complete definition of a word including the etymology.

So that's why hysteria and hysterectomy have the same Greek root.

3. You have an obsession with literary symbolism.

Me: It's not a pear, it's yonic symbolism.

My Friend: Since when did a girl eating a pear become sexual? You are so weird.

Me: It's obvious, the author said it RIGHT THERE!

4. You feel so satisfied when you write a great analysis of an obtuse literary work.

Your thesis statement might have three appositive phrases and require a page to provide context, but it's a beauty none the less.

5. You liked books as a teen when everybody else thought they weren’t cool.

You could care less about the football game, you were reading ahead for English class.

6. You shudder and delete any of your social media posts that have a typo.

The rest was perfectly eloquent, but your reputation must be preserved.

7. You think people who unreasonably hate literature are awful humans.

No, no! If we read JaneEyre together, I'll promise you'll like it. Please!

8. You read lit criticism for fun!

You were supposed to be looking for a source for a paper, but then you went down a literary rabbit hole.

9. You spend finals week holed up somewhere writing a zillion papers.

Writing is fun. Writing four five-to-ten-page papers in three days is not!

10. You (sometimes) long for the multiple choice tests your STEM friends have.

They don't need a thesis statement, all they need to know is 500 randomly precise science facts—NEVER MIND I'd rather be an English major.

11. You dream of being a writer in some capacity whether creative, academic or technical.

This is your calling, the formation of words on the page.

12. You sigh when your STEM friends ask for help with their final lab reports.

"But you're an English Major, writing comes naturally to you."

"Yes, but I have 10,000 words of my own to write before finals is over!!"

13. You sigh a lot less when your STEM friends later employ you as a technical writer.

Oh, yeah! Future employment will feel great to my vainly-internship-searching-soul.

14. People assume you want to be an English teacher.

Which is cool if you actually want to be an English teacher, but really awkward if you don't.

15. If you don’t want to be an English teacher, people assume you want to be a famous novelist.

Being an English major is versatile, not EVERYONE wants to teach or write novels full time.

16. Therefore, you spend a lot of times defending the major you love.

"Well, ACTUALLY ENGLISH MAJORS ARE THE BEST BECAUSE ummm.. I SAID SO." The one time words fail you...

17. You believe in the power of the written word to change the world.