Now that I've been a student here for a little while, it's safe to say that I have quite a few questions for Fordham University -- and I'm pretty sure that I'm not the only one with these questions. And if you're reading this and you aren't a Fordham student, hopefully you'll find some humor in our suffering.

1. What even are our dining hall hours?

If you don't get to McGinley by 8 p.m., you won't get in for dinner at all, which equals a horrible trek in the cold to either Urban Kitchen or Cosi. Why on earth does our dining hall close at 8 p.m. on weeknights and at 7 p.m. on weekends? News flash -- if you aren't going out on the weekend, you have to eat dinner super early and then starve in your dorm room for the rest of the night if you don't want to shell out money for some pizza. Not a fun time.

2. What's with the horrible uphill walk to the D train?

Seriously, I'm just trying to take a train into the city. I didn't sign up for an aerobics class.

3. Who does fire drills at night in the winter?

Fire drills, in general, are definitely a form of corporal punishment. But doing them at night? In the wintertime? That's just a whole new level of cruel.

4. Why don't our meal swipes carry over each semester?

Sincerely, every student with 120+ leftover meal swipes last semester that had to watch them all go to waste (myself included).

5. Will Blackboard ever work properly?

I think that the answer to this question is always going to be a resounding no, which equals a lot of cranky professors.

6. Will there ever be a time that we try to use the library printer and it's actually working?

Life-hack: The printer only seems to work for sure at obscene hours of the night where no living soul would ever venture into the library. If you have a friend with a printer, visit them instead. Otherwise, you have to chance it and may be seriously out of luck. And late to class. And sad.

7. Speaking of the library printer, with the amount of money this school takes in, why on earth do we have to pay for printing?

I've seen our financial reports. You don't need me to give you a nickel every time I have to print a page. Seriously, that stuff adds up.

8. Who decided to make FMH a class building?

I mean, could a class building even be any further out of everyone's way? Why not make those offices or something? Carving an extra half hour out of my day to get to and from Faculty Memorial Hall is definitely not a fun time, let me tell you. Technically, it isn't even on campus. Which sucks.

9. Are our underground tunnels even real?

We've heard the rumors, and we all really want to know. There are some rumors that our Lincoln Center campus has them -- it's safe to say that Rose Hill, the larger and more spacious campus, is definitely deserving of them, too.

10. If these tunnels are real, why don't we get to use them?

Honestly, think of how much easier walking to class in the snow and rain would be if you didn't even have to walk outside. Think of all the time you'd save, and how many fewer colds we'd be stumbling into the health center with. It's a win-win for everybody!

11. What's up with not having elevators in some of the biggest dorms?

Trekking up three flights of stairs isn't a fun time when you live in Queen's Court or Martyr's.

12. Speaking of Queen's Court, why can't we light the fireplace?

I mean, come on -- our dorm building practically looks like Hogwarts. We have such a gorgeous fireplace, and it sits there unused. Snowy months like these would be the perfect time to put it to good use!

13. Who came up with Meatless Mondays?

And why would you do that to us carnivores?

14. Why is Rod's closed on Saturdays?!

Saturdays are the perfect days to sit in the student-run coffee house and get work done. Saturdays also happen to be the one day of the week where said coffee house is closed.

15. When will Tapingo deliver?

Getting to pre-order my food from Urban Kitchen and Cosi is a blessing, but you know what would make it even better? If they delivered stuff right to my dorm. If restaurants on Arthur Avenue can do it, they should, too!

16. Who decided to put the health center as far away from the freshmen dorms as possible?

You know we're all going to get the freshman plague. Do us a favor and give us a shorter walk to go seek out help. Sincerely, having to leave at 8:10 a.m. for my 9:00 a.m. appointment.

17. Most importantly: How can one campus be so beautiful?

There's a reason Keating Hall has been named one of the most Instagram-worthy locations on a college campus. How is it possible that one small place can be so breathtaking?

Those are just ten of my most pressing (and, of course, satirical) questions that I have for Fordham University. If anybody has any surefire answers to these, I'd love to hear them. Until then, I'll be digging my own little tunnel to get from my dorm room to the dining hall.