Like it or not, the new school year is fast approaching and with it comes new courses, new teachers, and most importantly, new classmates. Though some are easier to spot than others, it is important to be able to identify all classroom inhabitants to prepare yourself for what they bring to the table.
1. The Overachiever
This will certainly be the first classmate you come in to contact with. The Overachiever will arrive early, own all the necessary course materials, and ask three to four thousand questions per class period. This person will be a great resource when you somehow manage to forget to bring everying you need to class or fall asleep during a lackluster lecture. As difficult as it may be, keep the Overachiever close. They could be a great lifeline when the going gets tough.
2. The Underachiever
The Underachiever will arrive at the eleventh hour and sit in the furthest corner of the room. They will draw little to no attention to themselves yet constantly ask the professor to repeat what he just said. Prior to the exam, this person will furiously type percentages into their calculator while asking: "What's the worst grade I can get without failing the class?" This specimen will provide much needed comic relief while making you feel a lot better about your work ethic.
3. The Know-It-All
This lovely human will often sit in the first row and relate every one of their responses to "that one psychology class they took last year." The Know -It-All will constantly interrupt the professor with useless commentary that makes the entire class want to jump out the nearest window. Though their participation is appreciated, these students our the scourge of the teaching community and are most likely the reason why your faculty despises the youth of this nation. Do your best to befriend/tolerate this classmate but please, don't be that guy.
4. The Veteran
This valuable asset will usually be seated in the middle of the room. Though they are quiet, a Veteran will have a firm grasp on the course and knows exactly how to handle any situation. This individual has jumped through the hoops and knows college culture. Veterans will quickly become the class favorite when they call the professor out for encouraging students to buy a $200 textbook that will be referenced twice in the semester.
5. The Dynamic Duo
These two will do everything together. Group projects, study sessions, and especially lunch breaks. Don't be surprised if you see these pals together everywhere you go. The Dynamic Duo will serve as a morale booster for the class, completing their assignments on time while enjoying each other's company. You would do well to find yourself a classroom partner. Believe it or not, three hour Geology lectures can get pretty dry.
6. The Over-Sharer
This Over-Sharer has absolutely no filter. They will disclose anything and everything about their personal life with the class. Somehow, they masterfully turn a lecture concerning Quantum Physics into a therapy session chronicling the deterioration of their most recent relationship. While this can be entertaining, it may also lead to homicidal thoughts or actions.
7. The Underdog
If you've ever seen the film "Rudy" you know that sometimes people just aren't cut out for a certain activity. However, that doesn't stop people from trying. The Under Dog will take notes and ask a healthy amount of questions during class. Though they try hard, it's a struggle from beginning to end. The Underdog is a great person to have around if you need to keep your work ethic in check but be wary when dealing with expensive equiptment.
8. The Con-Artist
The Con Artist can be found in the corner of the room glued to all forms of social media. They will stop at nothing to get out of doing even the smallest amount of work. The Con Artist will often spend hours trying to avoid work instead of just doing it. This individual will spend hours conversing with teachers in order to recieve an extension on the three months of homework they "forgot to do."
9. The Slueth
The Slueth can be found directly inside of everyone's business. This person is your go to source for campus activites and gossip. Slueths make strong effort to know everything about everyone and they're not afraid to ask hard hitting questions. The Slueth knows everything except for the date of any test or exam.They are fun to have around, especially when you need to vent about the teacher you hate or if you just need someone to talk to.
10. The Phantom
The Phantom will appear two times during the semester. On the first and last day of class. They will show up with no notes or materials. You will never have time to meet them because they leave class as soon as the lecture has ended. You will secretly wish that you had the courage to show up to class twice a semester, but unlike the The Phantom, you value your academic well being..
11. The Wall Flower
The Wallflower is the quietest person in the class but they know how to get things done. This person will be smart, efficient, and a valuable asset when it comes time for a dreaded group project. They have a firm grasp on the course material and know how to perform under pressure. Get to know a Wallflower or two, they just might suprise you!
12. The Adrenaline Junkie
This cool cat will be found at the center of all the action. The Adrenaline Junkie waits unitl the last minute to turn in all assignments and rarely studies for any tests. Day after day, this person snatches victory from the jaws of defeat and somehow manages to elude failure even when it is most certain.
13. The Competitor
The Competitor is extremely hard working. This person is kind but never misses an opportunity to make a battle out of anything. The Competitor will be the first person to compare your test score and then silently chuckle when they realize that they scored slightly better than you. A competitive edge is healthy, so don't be afraid to challenge someone.
14. The Downer
No classroom is complete without someone who is a total stick in the mud. This person will be sucessful, yet dry and boring. The Downer is otherwise known as a teacher's pet. They are not always unpleasant, but they rarely crack a smile and wouldn't dream of making a joke during lecture.
15. The Corpse
If it weren't for the occasional sigh, you might think this person was dead. They quietly survey the room and rarely break eye contact. Many people befriend The Corpse out of fear that they might seriously hurt everyone in the class. You will spend hours wondering how many bodies this person has buried under their floorboards.
16. The Crush
The crush will be your absolute favorite person to see. This person will possess an intoxicating energy that you will crave. At some point you will probably picture your life with this person and then get nervous and say something incredibly stupid in their prescence. You laugh, but at some point, this will happen.
17. The Nemesis
Lastly, there will always be that one person that you want to murder. You may not even know why, but every single thing they do just makes you want to obliterate them. The prospect of murder in cold blood will cross your mind at least once during the semester. However, you will resist your murderous urges for fear of loosing your scholarship.
