You don't get to choose the background you are born into, or the culture you're raised as. Luckily for me, I'm Italian. Although I bitched about it growing up and many times did not understand why things were being done as they were– 21 years later I'm grateful for it.
Most days in college I'd kill to be able to go back to my insane home but here are 16 ways you know you grew up in an Italian household:
1. Mozzarella, so much mozzarella.
It's not just a cheese, it's a lifestyle. At any time of the day, you could come home to mozzarella in the fridge or already cut up for you on the counter. It was the perfect snack, lunch or appetizer for family gatherings.
2. Your mother had to know where you were, at all times.
You sure as hell better text her when you leave the house for work, when you get in the car, when you park the car, when you get in the building, when you have lunch break, when you get back to your car, when you're on your way home and when you're in the driveway.
3. Everyone was your aunt, uncle or cousin.
You always had to ask "how are we related?" which never had a simple answer.
4. Your mom always used the term "stunata" and it took you way into your teen years to figure out its meaning.
I now use this word.
5. Everyone in your family just speaks so... loud.
If you needed to get your point across at dinner, just speak a little louder than the person currently talking
6. Pastina was a way of life and was cooked for every lazy weekday dinner.
Those little star shaped pasta with cheese saved my life.
7. Going to any family function empty handed might as well be a cardinal sin.
Heading to the car you had the wine, your sister the bread, your other sister the bowl of pasta and your father the cookies, even if you were just dropping by to say hello.
8. And you better say hello to every relative in the room you walk into.
Make your way right to left around the living room, and don't forget your little cousins.
9. There was one Italian restaurant that everyone went to for communion and confirmation.
The servers know your name and gave you wine clear before you were 18.
10. And even though it was a family favorite, it never beat homemade sauce and meatballs.
My mother always joked she should just open her own restaurant out of our kitchen
11. Getting sauce of out a jar was an actual sin, and never happened.
Prego, Ragu, Newmans Own, does not matter you were not eating any of them
12. Everyone in your family had similar names.
Vinny... Sal....Vito... you get the idea.
13. Women cook, men sit and eat. Don't try to bring your feminism into it, it's just tradition.
I tried to fight this for a long time then eventually caved– your grandfathers don't mean any harm, it's just the way they were raised.
14. Sunday church, no questions asked.
Even though you clearly went to a Roman Catholic school and attended church every Thursday, you went Sunday as well.
15. And there was never an option of going to a restaurant that was not Italian.
Friday dinner out? Mataranos it is!
16. And God bless the sibling who is brave enough to bring home a boy who is not Italian.
And as my mother would say, I just want Italian grandchildren.
