16 Things Girls Would Do If They Were Guys

16 Things Girls Would Do If They Were Guys

Don't you all wonder what it would be like to be a guy for a day...

Listen up, ladies! We've all had this everlasting thought in our heads. The thought of, "What would happen if I was a guy? What would it be like? What would I do?" You see, this thought is normal. I grew up in a predominately male household. I have two brothers, a father, and a majority of male cousins. I've always pondered what it would be like to be "one of the boys." The older I got, the more and more time I've had to reflect on this. Here is a compiled list of what I think girls would do if they had had a little something different going on down there:

1. Pee Our Names In A Bank Of Snow

As a female, having to pee outside is one of the worst things that could happen. The concept of aiming is physically impossible. If I had the ability to aim...I would mark my territory everywhere.

2. Touch Ourselves...A Lot

As a female, this takes a lot of time, dedication and effort. Finding the right spots can sometimes be tricky. But...as a male... everything is out there in the open. I often think if I was a guy I would take a long time in the shower loving myself.

3. Save Money

Men will never understand the concept of spending $50 at Sephora for foundation and $17 at MAC for a tube of lipstick... or $7 on tampons every month. As females, there are things we need to spend money on as well as things we are expected to spend money on. If I didn't have to buy all the stuff I use to make myself a presentable human, I would be one rich bitch.

4. Get Paid More

I'm just going to silently sip my tea...

5. Have More Time

Gone are the days where I would have to wake up an hour before I have to do anything. Picking out an outfit? Putting on makeup? Doing hair? Not anymore.

6. Tell Girls They're Beautiful

If I was a guy, I would probably be the best boyfriend ever.

7. Eat As Much As We Possibly Can

Pizza. Burgers. Burritos. Mac n Cheese. Get in my belly! And nobody would even bat an eyelash or ask me, "Don't you worry about that going to your thighs?"

8. Order Whiskey At A Bar

I'm a girl who likes her Jameson. But, when I order a shot at a bar, I get confused looks from the burley man across the way. Yes, I am a short little blonde girl who needs her Jack and Coke.

9. Experience Going To A Bar

I feel for men at bars. Although they save money on hygiene products...they spend a lot of money on leisure. I wonder what it's like being on the other end of grinding. Or how to come up with a pick-up line that will actually work.

10. Give Out Daps

I'd give out daps to my bros like Oprah.

11. Walk The Streets At Night

...and not have to worry about anything.

12. Have Bigger Pockets

Being able to fit my keys, wallet, chapstick and small child in the pocket of my jeans would be the coolest!

13. Openly Talk About Watching Porn

Girls watch porn. But, only guys are allowed to talk about how they watch porn. It is socially acceptable for males to write five-page essays about who their favorite pornstar is. I'd send all the Brazzers videos to my boys I'd think they'd like.

14. Not Worrying About Or Brows Being On Fleek

When it comes to crafting my eyebrows there is always blood, sweat, and tears. Sometimes I just can't get my damn arch right. I would not give two shits about my furry compadres if I was a dude.

15. Be Violent

I would punch walls like it's my job and nobody would think I have serious anger problems.

16. Have Sex

I've always wanted to know what having a boner feels like. Is it cool? Is it annoying? How do they go away...oh wait...I know. Sex from the other side is what I'm most curious about upon thinking of this endeavor. I would go up to every girl I'd think I'd have a chance with, buy her a nice dinner, and ask her for a fun night of love and passion. But, only if she says "yes." Consent is mandatory, my friends.

To all you boys out there...don't worry! We've got you covered. Check out my fellow funny team member Michael's article, "16 Things Guys Would Do If They Were Girls"! You won't be disappointed.

Cover Image Credit: WP content

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14 Fraternity Guy Gifts Ideas, Since He Already Has Enough Beer

Frat boys are a species of their own and here are some exciting gifts they will be ecstatic to receive!


What more do frat boys love than alcohol, partying, and just acting stupid? Here are some gifts that help fulfill all of those needs for the frat boy in your life!

1. Beer holster belt

Whats better than one beer? Six beers! This fashionable camouflage accessory can be used for tailgates, beach days, formals and everything in between.

Price: $8.49 (one pack), $14.99 (two pack)

2. Phone juul holder 

You know those cardholders everyone sticks on the back of their phones? Well, now a Juul holder for your phone is on the market! This will save your favorite frat boy from ever again losing his Juul!

Price: $10.98

3. Animal house poster 

This Animal House poster is a classic staple for any frat boy. This poster will compliment any frat house decor or lack thereof.

Price: $1.95

4. The American Fraternity book

Does the frat boy in your life need a good read for Thanksgiving or winter break? Look no farther, this will certainly keep his attention and give him a history lesson on American fraternity heritage and tradition.

Price: $28.46

5. Beer pong socks 

These snazzy socks featuring beer pong will be loved by any frat boy. As for the way to any frat boy's heart may, in fact, be beer pong.

Price: $12.00

6. Condom case

This condom carrying case will not only protect condoms from damage but also make frat boys more inclined to practice safe sex, which is a win-win situation!

Price: $9.99

7. Frat house candle

Ahhh yes, who does not like the smell of stale beer in a dark, musty frat house basement? Frat boys can make their apartment or bedroom back home smell like their favorite place with the help of this candle.

Price: $16.99

8. "Frat" sticker

Frat boys always need to make sure everyone around them knows just how "fratty" they are. This versatile stick can go on a laptop, car, water bottle, or practically anywhere their little hearts desire.

Price: $6.50

9. Natty Light t-shirt 

Even I will admit that this shirt is pretty cool. The frat boy in your life will wear this shirt at every possible moment, it is just that cool!

Price: $38.76-$41.11

10. Natty light fanny pack 

This fanny pack can absolutely be rocked by any frat boy. The built-in koozie adds a nice touch.

Price: $21.85

11. Bud Light Neon Beer Sign 

A neon beer sign will be the perfect addition to any frat boys bedroom.

Price: $79.99

12. Beer Opener

Although most frat boys' go to beers come in cans, this bottle opener will be useful for those special occasions when they buy nicer bottled beers.

Price: $7.99

13. Frat House Dr. Sign

Price: $13.99

Forget stealing random street signs, with this gift frat boys no longer have to do so.

14. Beer Lights 

Lights are an essential for any party and these will surely light up even the lamest parties.

Price: $17.19

Please note that prices are accurate and items in stock as of the time of publication. As an Amazon Associate, Odyssey may earn a portion of qualifying sales.

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The Easy Amazon Prime Holiday Gift Guide For The Last Minute Shopper (Like Me)

Don't feel like battling mall parking lots this close to Christmas? I got you.


Christmas shopping is easily my favorite part of the holidays, even for my broke self. I love the atmosphere of parents and friends running around like a chicken with their head cut off trying to scramble for gifts. Amazon is well on their way to taking over the world, so may as well utilize their 2-day shipping. Whether you're a homebody, last minute shopper, or just lazy, here's a list of gifts on Amazon that will be perfect for anyone in your life.

1. Oil Diffuser

Oil diffusers are a great gift for anyone who spends a lot of time at home. They add to your home decor while also serving a purpose. You can even add in an essential oil set to round out the gift!

2. Echo Dot

The Echo Dot is a fantastic gift to give when you are on a budget but want to have a really awesome sought after item to give. Right now if you hurry and purchase, it's only $19.99 compared to the normal price of $39.99!

3. Sippers

These faux Ugg slippers are a perfect take on the overdone gift of fuzzy socks! For the men in your life, these moccasin slippers are a perfect gift too.

4. Dash Mini Waffle/Panini/Griddle Maker

Okay, these products I SWEAR by. I use them every day and they are a lifesaver and so convenient. As a college student, I tight on space, time, and skill. Also, I'm just lazy. So the Dash Mini Waffle Maker is perfect for when I'm craving a sweet breakfast but am tired of frozen waffles. It's so light and portable and easy to clean up. They even have a Dash Mini Griddle which I use to make breakfast sandwiches and even cook an egg on! Lastly, have a Dash Mini Grill you can make paninis on or grill patties on! Better yet if you can't decide between the three options, you can buy the set of 3! They even come in the cutest colors and are super affordable!

5. Moon Lamp

This gift is one I really want for myself. This moon lamp is super unique and makes a great decoration for your home and serves as a conversation starter. I've seen these lamps all over Pinterest and Instagram and would be perfect for kids and adults alike!

6. Felt Letter Board

At this point, everyone and their mother has one of these felt letter boards but for those who don't have one, it would make a perfect personalized gift for anyone! A wrapping idea would be to open up the letters and place a personalized message on it for them to see when they open it. Then you wouldn't have to buy a card, kill two birds with one stone!

7. Metal Straws

Listen, I know getting straws for Christmas sounds kind of lame and ridiculous but the benefits and meaning behind the gift are what's important. These metal straws come with a pouch making them easier to carry around. You can also do a little more research for fun metal straws like these copper metal straws, multi-colored straws, or collapsible straws for on the go. I'm sure you're all probably sick of hearing about the damages to the environment that come with disposable straws but if it wasn't detrimental to the environment, then you wouldn't hear about it as much. Giving the gift of saving the environment is the best gift you can give in my opinion.

8. Blue Light Blocking Glasses

These blue light blocking glasses are an odd gift to receive but incredibly useful and helpful. For the person in your life that is addicted to their phone or computer screen (like me) this gift will be worth the while to them. They come in multiple colors and shapes to choose from and filter out the blue light from screens which will decrease the strain on your eyes when looking at your screen.

9. Coffee Table Books

This is an easy gift to get everyone on your list because it's easily customizable, a great conversation piece, a decorative item, and could make a great gag gift. This Milk and Vine book is a great gag gift for your fellow Vine lover. A Kate Spade coffee table book or this Vanity Fair history book for your fashionista friend. For the person in your life with wanderlust, this travel book is perfect. For your fellow dog lover, much like myself, this book has their name written all over it. And lastly, for the nature lover, this National Geographic photography book is the one.

10. Amazon Gift Card

If you're really crunched for time and are exhausted of ideas, you can never go wrong with an Amazon gift card. You have the option to print the gift card, email it, or you can pick out a design to get a physical gift card. Perfect for the family member or friend who is incredibly picky or already has everything on their list.

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