16 Things Girls Would Do If They Were Guys

16 Things Girls Would Do If They Were Guys

Don't you all wonder what it would be like to be a guy for a day...

Listen up, ladies! We've all had this everlasting thought in our heads. The thought of, "What would happen if I was a guy? What would it be like? What would I do?" You see, this thought is normal. I grew up in a predominately male household. I have two brothers, a father, and a majority of male cousins. I've always pondered what it would be like to be "one of the boys." The older I got, the more and more time I've had to reflect on this. Here is a compiled list of what I think girls would do if they had had a little something different going on down there:

1. Pee Our Names In A Bank Of Snow

As a female, having to pee outside is one of the worst things that could happen. The concept of aiming is physically impossible. If I had the ability to aim...I would mark my territory everywhere.

2. Touch Ourselves...A Lot

As a female, this takes a lot of time, dedication and effort. Finding the right spots can sometimes be tricky. But...as a male... everything is out there in the open. I often think if I was a guy I would take a long time in the shower loving myself.

3. Save Money

Men will never understand the concept of spending $50 at Sephora for foundation and $17 at MAC for a tube of lipstick... or $7 on tampons every month. As females, there are things we need to spend money on as well as things we are expected to spend money on. If I didn't have to buy all the stuff I use to make myself a presentable human, I would be one rich bitch.

4. Get Paid More

I'm just going to silently sip my tea...

5. Have More Time

Gone are the days where I would have to wake up an hour before I have to do anything. Picking out an outfit? Putting on makeup? Doing hair? Not anymore.

6. Tell Girls They're Beautiful

If I was a guy, I would probably be the best boyfriend ever.

7. Eat As Much As We Possibly Can

Pizza. Burgers. Burritos. Mac n Cheese. Get in my belly! And nobody would even bat an eyelash or ask me, "Don't you worry about that going to your thighs?"

8. Order Whiskey At A Bar

I'm a girl who likes her Jameson. But, when I order a shot at a bar, I get confused looks from the burley man across the way. Yes, I am a short little blonde girl who needs her Jack and Coke.

9. Experience Going To A Bar

I feel for men at bars. Although they save money on hygiene products...they spend a lot of money on leisure. I wonder what it's like being on the other end of grinding. Or how to come up with a pick-up line that will actually work.

10. Give Out Daps

I'd give out daps to my bros like Oprah.

11. Walk The Streets At Night

...and not have to worry about anything.

12. Have Bigger Pockets

Being able to fit my keys, wallet, chapstick and small child in the pocket of my jeans would be the coolest!

13. Openly Talk About Watching Porn

Girls watch porn. But, only guys are allowed to talk about how they watch porn. It is socially acceptable for males to write five-page essays about who their favorite pornstar is. I'd send all the Brazzers videos to my boys I'd think they'd like.

14. Not Worrying About Or Brows Being On Fleek

When it comes to crafting my eyebrows there is always blood, sweat, and tears. Sometimes I just can't get my damn arch right. I would not give two shits about my furry compadres if I was a dude.

15. Be Violent

I would punch walls like it's my job and nobody would think I have serious anger problems.

16. Have Sex

I've always wanted to know what having a boner feels like. Is it cool? Is it annoying? How do they go away...oh wait...I know. Sex from the other side is what I'm most curious about upon thinking of this endeavor. I would go up to every girl I'd think I'd have a chance with, buy her a nice dinner, and ask her for a fun night of love and passion. But, only if she says "yes." Consent is mandatory, my friends.

To all you boys out there...don't worry! We've got you covered. Check out my fellow funny team member Michael's article, "16 Things Guys Would Do If They Were Girls"! You won't be disappointed.

Cover Image Credit: WP content

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Kittsona Is Your New Favorite Boutique

Your one-stop-shop for all things cute!

Shopping small has really taken off in the past several years. Millennials, in particular, are advocators for supporting small businesses.

The experiences and products are more unique, and the quality tends to be better. Most tend to have their favorites: whether that be because the quality is out of this world, it's cheap or the staff is just super helpful and friendly.

I'm a millennial. I have a favorite boutique. It's called Kittsona.

I also work there.

I know, that seems super biased, but I love it because of the three reasons I listed above.

Kittsona was started out in the Midwest after two women met at a farmer's market. Both of them dreamed of opening up a boutique inspired by feminine attire and home goods, so they did just that.

Years later, there are eight locations around the country: most in North Dakota and Minnesota, two in Texas, one in Colorado, and one in Charleston.

Kittsona gets in orders from amazing retailers including Wishlist, NikiBiki, Flying Money denim and Quipid shoes. Even better, Kittsona utilizes local artisans and businesses and sells their products!

What makes it even better? The prices are great! Most customers come in expecting to drop 100 dollars on one blouse, but most are about 25 to 45!

The store is constantly getting in chic, boho, preppy styles to fit each shopper's preferred look - for more than half the cost that others sell clothes for. (And let's not forget the adorable home goods from local companies for extremely cheap prices as well!)

Most importantly, the women I work with at Kittsona (and at headquarters!) are extremely helpful, peppy and kind. Need another size? We'll grab it for you right away. Want something the other stores have that we don't have? We'll ship it to you. Just want someone to talk about fashion with? We got you. There isn't a day I dread going to work, because I couldn't ask for better ladies to work with!

I'm so lucky to be employed at a company where we care so much about giving our customers the best boutique shopping experience.

Cover Image Credit: Caroline Buck

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Your Online Shopping "Retail Therapy?" Yeah, That's A BIG Problem

The worst part about it all too is that I totally try to justify every purchase I make and I’m absolutely horrible at returning things.

Really though, who’s with me?

My bank account would be so much safer if I did not have the ability to have things delivered directly to my door. Sometimes within as little as a day (thanks, Amazon Prime).

As someone who can be classified as an impulse buyer, which is honestly an issue within an issue, I seriously struggle. From Facebook Ads to Instagram posts, to email lists that I somehow got on, spending money has become way too easy. Especially when I have my credit card number memorized.

Unfortunately, it has now also become possible to shop online at places like Publix, Walmart, and Target in which they will essentially shop for you and you simply have to pick it up. Do you know how much money on average I spend at a place like Target? Too much. Way too much.

Trust me, the budgeting function on my banking app makes me cringe every single time.

Do you know how much of that stuff I actually need? Maybe a quarter of it. Example: Guess who bought an all in one picnic basket last week because it was on sale for $29.99? This girl.

Guess who has never once in her life actually been on a picnic? This girl. Guess who will most likely never go on a picnic? This girl. $30 down the drain but hey at least it was on sale, right?

My biggest enemy these days are 100% Facebook Ads. It’s like I’m thinking about maybe possibly getting a new romper and then, poof, three different websites all have romper sales. Honestly, how do they do that? It should be illegal. It’s like I’ve been drug into every single sale that’s ever been posted. And of course, once I find a new place to shop I just have to sign up for emails.

What’s even more exciting for me? New arrivals. Incredibly exciting. Let me tell you.
There are about three or four different online stores that send me emails every time they have new arrivals. As an impulse shopper, I seriously cannot resist.

The worst part about it all too is that I totally try to justify every purchase I make and I’m absolutely horrible at returning things. What if, by some chance, I absolutely need that top or romper or dress for my night out in two weeks? What if I end up taking a spontaneous trip and those leggings are needed for a hike or a bathing suit is perfect for the beach?

And returning things? Well shipping them back is out of the question because, well, that’s a lot of work. Going into the store? Well, I didn’t want to do that in the first place.

And unfortunately, I’m not going to stop online shopping... It’s like opening presents on Christmas Day when I get an email that says “package delivered.”

See my struggle? My bank account sure does.

Any suggestions for these online shopping issues are greatly appreciated. We’re in this together. Seriously, please tell me someone shares my problems.

Cover Image Credit: John Schnobrich

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