The year is 2007. You, a brace-faced, overly-eager fifth grader who is so stoked to text her friends on her Motorola Razr, races home from school, "Hips Don't Lie" stuck in your head, and rush onto the computer. You, the most social of youths, have promised your biffles that you'd be on Instant Messenger, and you are, like, so stoked. Knowing that the actual process of starting the computer takes five minutes or so, you immediately push the button to start the hard drive and doodle a smiley face on a piece of paper using your sick new gel pens. As the gloss of the pens starts to dry on the page, you peer over to the screen and see that the loading bar has finally filled and the screen has appeared. Clicking on the AIM button, you finally head to talk to your friends, when you see it--the away message. Your friends, your very best friends, your BFFLs (and that's a very serious thing) have betrayed you. They have gone AFK, and you can't even tell them how you really feel about it because they're literally not there. "OMG," you think. "I am, like, so sad." In an act of pure vengeance, you, FULLHOUSEKID1000 (...well, that was me, but whatever your username was), decide to reciprocate. You are going to literally BRB. But what will you make your away message? And then you remember the 16 coolest away messages of literally all time. Have I said literally enough? I mean literally:

1) omg the monkey just ate my pants!!!!!! (inside joke LOL!)

2) real eyes. realize. real lies. ~confucius

3) parents r here, brb.

4) My BFFLs are x, y, and z!!!!!!! if you're not on the list, i either just forgot or like maybe hate u idk?

5) today's gonna b a good day

6) im so bored IM me.

7) brb hw (a personal fave... i really appreciate the creative flair)

9) i cant wait 4 2008!!!!!!

10) ok ignore me w/e i dont even care???? kthxbyeeeeee

11) i'm in love with %n. IM me ;)

12) c@nt b3Li3v3 w3'r3 @Lr3@dy 1n 5th gr@d3!!!! wut!!!

13) check out my profile on wittyquotes.com (side note, apparently the site was taken down).

14) brb playing Club Penguin... if ur online, come to my igloo! puffle party!!!

15) I am away from my computer right now.

16) A...B...C...D...E...F...G
Gummy Bears r chasing me!
One is red, one is blue
The green one just stole my shoe!!!