Dear me,

Soon, you will start reading that name as it was given to you, and not with the accent you were forced to speak it with. And it will come naturally.

So you're going to high school now. There's a lot that's going to happen that you're not prepared for, but know that you'll get through it.

First of all, don't expect to get a perfect GPA. High school is nothing like middle school. It's harder and the other kids get smarter. Don't be too hard on yourself. You will not get into an Ivy League, but it doesn't matter. Life goes on.

All cards on the table, your life is about to get real tough soon. Just believe in yourself and know that you will get through it at the end. Know that you will make it out on top.

I know you are wondering about this, so let me get this out of the way: you will find someone. The boy that will love every curve, stretch mark and scar is not prominently in your life right now. I don't want to tell you his name because that's part of the excitement. Every text, every brush of the hand, every smile will lead to that toothy kiss in the kitchen at 4 AM the night after Christmas Day. And he will not walk away. He will not use you like all the other boys did. He will not leave when things get rough. He will not hurt you. So trust him. You will be scared and you will feel uncertainty, but try to work through it and don't make any rash decisions. Have faith in him and in yourself.

College will be...interesting. It will be unbelievably hard the first month or two and then you'll find a group of friends who love you unconditionally, support you through everything, and live freely with you. But you, of course, will screw it up. You will let your fear get the best of you and you will mess everything up. Soon, you will be alone again. You'll be stuck in the past and you'll hate yourself for messing up so bad. And here's the kicker: it won't matter. It won't matter how much you regret your mistakes because that won't fix anything.

Then your family will drop a bomb on you. Dad got a job in San Diego. Here you are, alone in another state, with no one you know. But you will have faith that things will be okay.

I'm saying all the bad stuff, but there will be great things to happen too.

The love of your life will stick with you. Your family will be proud of you. You will try your best. Your professors will like you. You will become stronger and more independent. You will work with what you are given. And you will live. Nivedha, you will finally learn to live.