Young love, old love, new love, great love, broken love, falling in love, love songs, love stories, love letters, love. What is the big deal with love? Urban dictionary defines love as 'The most spectacular, indescribable, deep euphoric feeling for someone', and Merriam Webster's simple definition of love is, 'a feeling of strong or constant affection for a person.'

Given that our society is emotionally driven, and passionate for the things or people we care about, I can see why love is such a prominent aspect of our lives. But what about once you have that love? What do you do then? You can be in love with someone, and then fall out of love. You can love someone and stop loving yourself in the process too. Love is wonderful, but love is also a fire that can be hard to kindle at times. Love is a commitment, even if you aren't married. Letting yourself love someone, and possibly not have that love returned is scary. Love is vulnerable. Most of the time though, love is worth it.

To have a healthy relationship with someone, two people not only have to love each other, but always be working towards a common goal; most times that is a happy, healthy and passionate love. These are some lessons that I have learned throughout my life about how to love, and how to be loved by someone else.

1. Affection.

Within most relationships affection goes a long way, or the lack there of does as well. Although you may love someone, you have to show that person affection and take the extra step to make them feel special and loved. Many relationships that lack this, have problems that could most likely be solved with just a little more effort on each persons part.

2. Understand that there are two people in a relationship.

There are two people in a relationship, so one person should not be putting in 80 percent of the effort, while the other only gives 20 percent. Love is a two way street, and if both partners aren't giving it there all, problems start occurring.

3. Common goals.

Making sure that both people have the same goals in mind (marriage, or having children for example) can help keep both people on track. If your partner does not have the same goals in mind for the future, you might see that they aren't putting in as much effort into the relationship. Ask yourself, if you can't see a future with this person... why are you in the relationship? Or, if your partner can't see a future for the two of you, why are you dragging it out?

4. Religion.

Religion is something that may come up when you are in a relationship with someone, but does not necessarily become a huge issue until marriage comes around. Are you and your partner similar in your religious beliefs? Are they going to want to get married in a church, but you don't? Those are the questions you should be asking as you become serious with someone. According to a study taken by the University of Illinois, 33 percent of couples who have different but similar religions end in divorce.

5. Money.

How do you spend your money? What do you spend it on? Would your partner approve of everything you are buying if that money is theirs too? Money is a huge aspect of a relationship, although two people may not always approve of every dollar that is being spent, being considerate of the other persons needs is necessary to having a respectful relationship.

6. Respect your partner.

Your partner is your best friend, they are your love. Respect them! Respect what they need from you, and also what they don't need from you. Respect their wishes, religion, family, friends, life style, past relationships, and simply just respect them. Respect is a two-way street, so don't expect to get it if you aren't giving it.

7. Consideration.

Consideration. Considering how your partner would feel before you decide to go off and do something crazy, is so important. It's not just about those huge decisions though, it's about everything. Consider how they would feel about you talking to whoever you are talking to, how they are feeling after a hard day, the things they like to do and what they don't like to do. What they are good at, and what they excel in, but also what they need help with. Just consider them when you are making decisions because your life affects their life as well.

8. Forgive and forget.

Although the forgetting part is a lot harder than we want it to be, both of these are critical to a healthy relationship. Everyone is human, and people make mistakes. Whether your partner makes these mistakes while you are together or not, you have to decide for yourself whether you can forgive these mistakes and move forward. Don't forget that you make mistakes as well. Even if you don't think you've ever made a mistake- you probably have, or you might in your future. Forgiveness is not just for the other person, but for yourself as well. Holding onto anger weighs down your soul and affects your life. You have to make a decision to forgive your partner, for them, but also for your own sake as well.

"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." Ephesians 4:32.

9. Adventure.

Relationships need adventure. Adventure pushes people out of their comfort zones, and promotes growth. Going on adventures together helps your relationship grow, as the individual grows also. Adventure helps keep things from being boring, and sparks new interests. Even if you can't pick up and leave, you can find adventure wherever you are looking for it.

10. Spend time together.

This one is simple, just spend time with your partner. If you aren't dedicating enough time to the other person, they are likely feeling neglected. Find out what your partner loves to do, and go do it with them. Dedicate time to their hobbies and interests, and also spend time together doing the activities you like as well.

11. Choose your battles.

It's not worth getting into an argument every time someone gets annoyed. Choose what is most important to you, and let everything else go. With this one, to prevent arguments both partners should come to the terms that they are not always right. Overcome your pride and accept when the other person has a point, or won the argument. Don't keep pushing.

12. Compromise.

Once you both learn to give a little on each side in order to come to a compromise, things become easier.

13. Communication and honesty.

Communicate with your partner what is going wrong, what is flourishing, what could be worked on. Communicate how much you care for them in words of affirmation. Tell them when you are in a rut, that you need space, or that you miss them. Just talk. Having open communication in a relationship is a key to it being successful. Be honest when you communicate, and always tell the truth.

14. Appreciation.

Never take your partner, or your relationship for granted. Appreciate everything they do for you, and notice the little things you never noticed before. Think about all the ways they are amazing, and tell them. They deserve to know that you notice, and appreciate what they do.

15. Love them with everything you have.

Loving someone with everything you have, does not entail that you have stop loving yourself in the process. Make sure your prioritize yourself first, and then give your heart to someone. Love your person with everything you have in you, and be vulnerable with them. Never stop being there for them, and never give up when you love someone.