1. "Just one more episode."

2. "Oh, a six page paper? Pff, I can write that in like two hours, easy."

3. "Wow he's cute, ok, quick look away so he doesn't know and has the chance to ask you out."

4. "My butt looks huge today. Excellent."

5. "How does she get her butt so big??"

6. "Prof just looked me in the eye and I was just on Buzzfeed. I'm just gonna look back down and pretend to type a note."

7. "Do I smell or does that guy smell?"

8. "Where's my glasses?"

9. "Can I put on a full face of makeup in 10 minutes? I'm gonna try, that's for sure."

10. "Why didn't she follow me back?? She must hate me."

11. "How do I tell her I don't want to be friends without making her sad?"

12. "Did I really look like this the whole day?"

13. "This pimple looks HUGE- it's already been two days!!"

14. "I'm gonna have three kids, four dogs, a big house, and a husband who spoils me. Maybe we'll vacation in Italy for the summer."

15. "I spent $30 on food this week and I pay for a meal plan. Why do I do this to myself?"