I'm gonna let you guys in on a secret:

I have a unibrow, straight up.

As in my two eyebrows literally are(oh-so slightly, but they are) connected by these teeny-tiny hairs near the bridge of my nose. I'm not talking "Frida Kahlo Feminista Fabulous" unibrow. I'm talking "I'm in fifth grade and I want to let the earth swallow me whole because I'm 11 and this is mortifying" unibrow. I got my brows waxed for the first time for my fifth grade promotion ceremony and almost cried.

Since then, I've waxed, tweezed, shaved, used creams, threaded... I'm always trying to figure out what the best brow shape and length is for my face. Here are 15 thoughts and scenarios that I, and anybody else who isn't into the FAT permanent marker looking thick line across their forehead look, experience every day.

1. Embrace the "natural" look?

Is it too much? Is it too severe? Do they naturally have a decent shape? Is my brow hair too dark? Is my face too round/wide/long/thin?

2. Figuring out what the hell the word "shape" means.

Eyebrow shape? Face shape? Now I have to examine myself in the mirror for twenty extra minutes to find out how I compare to this chart. Was I even born with the right eyebrows for my face? I'm flawed. I'm panicking. This is too much.

2. It is worth it to change the "shape"?

If I touch them will I ruin them? Are they already ruined how they are? Unclear...

3. If so, how?

If I tweeze, I have to rip out each individual hair one by one. If I wax, then I'll have red blotchy skin for the rest of the day and break out. If I thread, it's like getting rug burn, but just on your eyebrows. Those creams burn my skin. Plus, if I put on too much and it drips onto more of my eyebrow than I planned, I might take my whole brow off.

4. When you consider shaving your brows off because they're too much to deal with.

I mean, there's that rumor that if you shave them all off, they grow back in perfectly... Plus if it doesn't work out, I can always get them tattooed back on. We have come a long way from this:

5. When you under-tweeze.

Okay, maybe a littleeeee more...

6. When you over-tweeze.

S***.

7. When you've realized you made a mistake.

F***.

8. When you've messed with them too much and now you have to let them grow out.

brb cancelling all my social plans and appearances and not showing up to work for the next six months because I single-handedly RUINED MY LIFE WITH A PAIR OF TWEEZERS.

9. When you're close to growing them out completely but you still try to cut corners by filling them in.

There are too many tools and too many ways to do this and they're all expensive. I'm going to try this my way.

Whatever man, forget "on fleek." I just want them to BE EVEN.

10. Remember: They're sisters, not twins.

Okay, so maybe not "even" in thickness or length or "shape," but at least decent would be nice. God, I regret wanting to do anything to my eyebrows so much...

11. When you FINALLY have grown your brows out.

It has all come full-circle now. This is real, this is me. I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be now. I am NEVER taking my thick, luscious, prominent eyebrows away again.

12. When you look in the mirror. Again.

I. CANNOT. LIVE. LIKE. THIS.

13. So you give it another shot...

I hope she does a good job this time, it went so badly the last time I did this...

14. Somehow it works and your thick eyebrows look better than ever before.

I am a new woman. I am a goddess. I am an angel. I am ethereal.

15. So you swear never to mess with your eyebrows again...

Until next time.