All aboard New Jersey's most popular form of public transportation - the NJ Transit buses. For just a few dollars a day, you can be late to your destination, have a breakdown before you've gotten to work and probably end up wishing you had the ability to fly to allow yourself to escape this transportation trauma. Whether you're a commuter like me, or you just like riding buses because you have nothing better to do than be miserable (on wheels), here are 15 things you most likely experience while riding NJ Transit.
1. If the bus schedule says you'll arrive at your destination at 8:30 p.m., you already know you'll probably arrive around 8:47 p.m, or 9:00 p.m...or never.
2. Falling asleep is a massive no-no, unless you want to miss your stop, have an alarm set or are a wizard who can zap yourself home after you end up stranded in East Bumblef**k
3. Strangers' long, intimate phone calls on board are the soundtrack to your commute.
4. THE BUSES ARE NEVER ON TIME, unless you're running late. (It's always a lose-lose situation. Happiness doesn't exist).
5. Some buses allow you to pay cash. Some require you to purchase a ticket beforehand. Nothing is ever constant. Everything is temporary. Life is a lie.
6. You're always crossing your fingers for a T or an express bus. You just ain't about that local, stops-on-every-street, route life.
7. There is a proper way to flag a bus down, similar to how you hail a taxi. Except this is not a taxi, or a magical chariot, it's a bus bro.
8. If you just stand there thinking the bus will stop for you because the driver read your mind, you're an idiot. Summon that bus.
9. You wonder what you did to receive such torture when you sit behind an a**hole who reclines their seat. This is not a bedroom on wheels, buddy.
10. 99.9 percent of the time, NJ Transit buses are late. Don't ever be optimistic -- be early. Take a bus three hours before you actually need to be somewhere, to assure you won't be late.
11. You know never to bring coffee on the bus, because you'll probably spill it all over yourself and be a stained un-caffeinated trainwreck (or should I say buswreck?).
12. Don't you just hate those riders that put their purse (or man purse) on the seat next to them, especially if someone needs a seat?
13. The worst is standing room only. You learn to balance yourself on your feet and awkwardly sway into strangers. It's like some sort of jazzy bus jives.
