Older brothers are the only people who will relentlessly pick on you but will threaten to beat up anyone else who makes you cry. Having an older brother is a unique experience that is indescribable to those without an older brother. Here are 15 things that girls only understand if they have an older brother:
1. No food is safe in the house.
It doesn't matter if you write your name on it or hide it, brothers somehow can sniff out food from miles away. The only thing that ever stopped him was when you were young (too young to realize how gross this is) and you licked all your food so he wouldn't touch it.
2. He claims he can make the rules because he was born first.
No matter what the situation is, if it doesn't benefit him then the rules must change. You're annoying him? Go away. He's losing? You cheated. He wanted something you got? It's his now. You called shotgun? Doesn't count. Whatever he says goes because he is older, so he has dibs.
3. No matter what, he can always convince you that something dangerous will be a lot of fun.
Older brothers all seem to have this persuasive charm where no matter how awful their ideas are, they can trick their little sisters into going along with it. Whether it be eating gross food or jumping from high ledges, you always decide to go along with the idea because your big brother wouldn't want to hurt you...right?
4. You grew up being the butt of the joke.
Being laughed at is just one job a little sister has. When you get older you realize that some of your insecurities stem from the jokes your brother made as a child. Even though it hurts at the time, his jokes make you stronger in the long run.
5. All of your teachers in school had a predetermined idea of what you were like because of your brother.
It always seemed unfair in school that you did not get to make a name for yourself. As soon as your teacher saw your last name they would ask: "Oh, is so-and-so your brother?" From that point on you knew that you had to live up to the standards he set or show that you are nothing like him. Even though you do try to prove yourself, you know that their first impression is based on your brother, whether it is good or bad.
6. You spent your entire childhood being player two (and having the crappy controller) when you played video games.
No matter how old you get, you better not dare try to be player one. Also, you better not complain when he puts you on a more difficult level or takes more turns than you. You just need to listen to what he says because the more you try to rebel, the more he will hog the gaming system.
7. He was always better than you, and if you beat him, you must have cheated.
It is impossible to prove your older brother wrong. No matter what the argument is about, he knows better. You can have all of the proof in the world, but if he says he is right, you better just let him think that because there is no way he will admit that he is wrong.
8. So. Many. Pranks.
Every day is April Fool's Day when you are a younger sister. Whoopee cushions, fake throw up, plastic poop, and realistic looking bugs were the peak of his childhood. Each day you were faced with a different prank and were forced to try not to react because you know that that is what he wanted. Trying to prank him back never worked though because he would throw a tantrum, tell your mom on you, then prank you even worse the next day.
9. Instead of getting dresses and shoes as hand-me-downs you got size X-L hoodies and t-shirts.
When you see your friends walking into school with their older sister's purse and hand-me-down clothes, you couldn't help but feel a little jealous. When middle school came around you always knew that the girls with perfect hair and make-up were taught by their sisters how to do it, but you were stuck with trial and error. This initial jealousy dissipates once you accept that boys clothes are comfier and you can make them stylish too.
10. He would do anything to get you in trouble if you made him mad.
11. He will never let you live down the weird phases you went through.
"Remember that time when you..." is always the most frightening sentence because you never know what embarrassing memory he is going to bring up. On top of the fact that you were going through an odd phase, he understood it even less since he was a boy and didn't do anything similar.
12. You had to make up games to play so that your dolls and his toy cars somehow fit into the story line.
One of the highlights of childhood was coming up with a game that you both could play that included your toys and his. This was a difficult task, but you have to give child-you some credit because these games were so creative and complex that you probably would never come up with something that unique now.
13. You always had to ask permission.
Manipulation is an older brother's favorite game. Whether it's because you make better puppy dog eyes or he just doesn't want to hear the word "no," if he wanted something, you had to ask your parents. He was always the king of scheming and you were the clueless little sister who would do anything your role-model brother asked of you. When you are asking your parents, though, you better not have said "[insert brother's name here] wants to know if we can..." because he did not want to be involved in the process of getting permission.
14. It's easier for you to become friends with guys.
Since you grew up around burping, farting, and excessive bathroom talk, it is sometimes hard to adjust to a more proper and "lady-like" behavior. Making friends with girls can be difficult because you are used to being around a boy 24/7. When you are in a room full of people, you tend to gravitate towards the guys because it is a lot easier for you to strike up a conversation with them than the girls who you never spent much time with.
15. As you get older you realize that he isn't as bad as you thought he was.
Even though you spent your entire childhood looking up to your brother, you never realize how much he means to you until later in life. While emotional conversations and showing affection may be awkward, you both just magically know how much you mean to one another. Having an older brother shapes you into the person you are (and vise-versa), whether you want to admit that or not. I had an amazing childhood with endless laughs and jokes thanks to my older brother and even after years of torture and torment (and though after mom brought me home from the hospital you told her to 'take me back'), I wouldn't change a thing. Thank you big bro for all you do!
