Wine is a lifeblood. Wine is there on the bad days and the good days. Wine will never judge you. Wine is probably your number one bae. If you can relate to this, then congratulations! You are a wine-o! But are you a respectable wine-o? Not unless you can relate to the following list.
1. You know your weekday wine versus your weekend wine. Both are valid because both are wine.
Wine every damn day.
2. People probably tell you that you drink "too much (wine)."
Operative word: "classy."
3. But you know that there's no such thing as too much wine.
Wine doesn't reaaaaaaalllly have "alcohol" in it.
4. You probably have all sorts of wine paraphernalia, since everything is a wine glass anyway.
...*everything useful is a wine glass anyway.
5. Any night is date night, with enough wine.
You don't even need to have a "real" date...you'd have to share your wine anyway.
6. You can relate to the following meme on a spiritual level.
Some people do yoga to relieve stress, some people drink wine. I just so have happened to perfect the art of doing both...at the same time.
7. Total Wine is like your adult candy store.
Do you want to know where you can find me after a bad day? The wine store.
Do you want to know where you can find me after a good day? The wine store.
Do you want to know where you can find me any day of the week? You guessed it: the wine store.
8. You actively fear never having enough wine.
This is a legitimate fear, don't judge us. There's even a word for it!
9. You probably get told that you talk about wine way too much. But you don't care. Wine is a sacred and spiritual experience, and they just don't get you.
Who needs wet blankets like those when you have wine.
10. Wine can solve all of your problems.
*Wine can solve almost all of your problems...if you believe enough.
11. You know that wine can pair with really any food...you're not picky.
Anything and everything pairs with wine.
12. Because really, you know that wine is its own meal.
Wine is fruit. Fruit is food. Food is good for you, right?
13. You know that once the bottle is open, the wine starts to turn. We don't waste wine here, kids.
Sometimes you have to (wo)man up and take care of your sh*t.
14. People like to say "oh it's too early for wine." But you know better.
Only amateurs say that it's "too early" for wine.
15. You're probably drinking wine right now.
Go on with yo' bad self.
