1. Is it socially acceptable to wear my high school shirts out?

At least wait until people recognize you’re not actually in high school anymore.

2. What about my letterman?

Firm no.

3. How long should I wait before I go home for a football game?

If you can’t make it until Homecoming, then I’ve got bad news for you #highschoolhero.

4. When do I break up with my high school boyfriend?

It’s called Thanksgiving break for a reason. (Actually though, the Turkey Drop is a real thing.)

5. Should I visit my best friend that goes to a different college?

6. How do I handle my first DFMO?

For those of you that don’t know, a Dance Floor Make Out is a staple of every mixer you’ll ever go to. It’s OK if you can’t remember the guy’s name the next day. He probably doesn’t remember yours either.

7. How soon until I can make fun of the current high school seniors?

If you’ve screamed the word “SKA” within the past year, then sorry, you’re not eligible yet.

8. How many mixers should I go to per week?

Not at all.

9. Does this look too slutty?

If you have to ask, probably. But you’re a freshman. So, you don’t know any better, right?

10. How does the washing machine work?

Some people will never figure it out (@MyRoommate). But use Google, or better yet, call your mom. She’ll appreciate it.

11. Why am I sick all the time?

You don’t sleep, you eat like crap, and you probably haven’t looked at a treadmill in weeks. What do you expect?

12. Is it bad if I don't go to this party?

No, it’s not bad if you don’t go. But you forfeit all bitching rights when your friends are talking about it later. The choice is yours, baby freshman.

13. Should I drink the punch?

Short answer: no. Long answer: If you have a death wish or want to do something stupid, please be my guest.

14. Is it bad to drunch?

Of course it's never a bad idea to drunkenly inhale ungodly amounts of food. What are you talking about?


15. But what if I gain the Freshman 15?

It's okay. It sounds way scarier than it is. You'll be fine.