Attention! Attention! Fall Semester is almost here! All the public school students are rushing, entering their welcome weeks and testing the limits of their body parts- their liver and...other things that need not be named.
But what about those students who attend private schools? Are you an incoming freshman wondering what you're in for this coming year? Transfer student who is new to the whole Christian school experience? You won't be rushing, or entering a welcome week with a substance that is prohibited by law. You'll be hearing things like the sayings below. Get ready, you're in for a wonderful year!
1. "Dude, check out my Chaco tan!"
2. "Gosh darn it. What the frick? Holy heck!"
Because how dare we get caught swearing on campus.
3. "You got another parking ticket?"
You best believe that campus security will put a ticket on your car if you are an underclassman in upperclassmen parking for more than 15 minutes. You have been warned.
4. "I have been looking through the book of numbers, and I realized I don't have yours?"
Christian pick up lines, Christian pick up lines everywhere.
5. "I'll pray for you."
Not a bad thing, at all. But sometimes, you wanna hear a little bit more than this.
6. "Were you homeschooled?"
I was homeschooled, some of my best friends were met this way. But there are 'those' homeschoolers who are so socially awkward you try to avoid confrontation with them..and if you don't know what I'm talking about, I'm sorry to say you are the awkward homeschooler.
7. "Veggie Tales!" 
I am a culprit of this. I get bored, don't want to study anymore and will turn on some veggie tales. Don't be afraid to sing with Larry the Cucumber about finding your hairbrush.
8. "Ring by Spring"
Ugh. Just ugh.
9. "There's chapel today right?"
Yes. MWF are chapel. T/TH are your Jesus classes y'all. Jesus everyday.
10. "No really, theres a bible app on my phone."
Professors are tired of hearing it, you aren't fooling anybody. And everyone knows you aren't paying attention in chapel too.
11. "Modest is Hottest!"
Yes it is very important to protect your body, cover yourself and be appropriate but I know how to dress myself, and I promise you I will not walk out of my dorm room in anything my mother would not approve of. Thanks I know its my Christian duty to cover my booty.
12. "Leave room for Jesus!"
All of the third and fourth wheels, literally everywhere, will make sure there is room for the Holy Spirit in between you and your significant other- right in between them telling you how much they hate that you are so cute together. #guilty
13. "Lets grab coffee!"
Coffee and Jesus fix everything.
14. "ENO and Chill?"
Okay, so I'm pretty sure no one says this but they should- because that is basically what it is. Yes! Go! Hammock with the cute boy who plays guitar and recites bible verses to you!
15. "Let's pray."
Before exams, before quizzes, before class, at the dining hall, in the student center, outside your dorm room, in the middle of the parking lot. You will see people praying, everywhere.
Good luck! And remember...
