If you have a Twitter, I highly, HIGHLY reccommend that you follow @TFLN, or Texts From Last Night. Do you remember what you did last night? Because they certainly do.

1. Act Professional?

"(904): my gynecologist gave me a high five for not getting any STD's since my last visit"

2. Homewrecker

"(330) I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages"

3. Where am I?

"(406) I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room"

4. Pizza is love, pizza is life

"(734) Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice"

5. Supermom!

"(976) Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand"

6. Day drinking who?

"(773) You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra."

7. It's kinda like ice cream.

"(585) Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?"

8. Well, I wouldn't put that under "special skills" on a resume.

"(703) Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and kept eating. I can't keep up with your drunk eating skills."

9. How..?

"(216) Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.

10. We have company!

"(250) yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister."

11. You now you're drunk when...

"(254) If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon, I might have drank a little too much."

12. We all know the struggle.

"(907) I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet."

13. Good life advice.

"If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it."

14. I don't think it works like that.

"(412) Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life."

15. It's about how you look at it.

"(479) He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing"