I have had to wear glasses since I was four years old, so you could say I've experienced just about every issue possible with them. Here are just a few of those struggles that I've encountered.
1. People just snatching my glasses off my face
Excuse you! You can't just make me Velma whenever you want!
2. The same people putting them on and saying "WOW! You really need these, huh?"
....Yes. That's actually why I wear them. I don't wear them for fun. Which brings me to...
3. People wearing fake glasses as an accessory
You have perfect vision! I don't understand! That's like willingly wearing a cast on your arm when it's not broken.
If you really want to "feel smart", use your perfect vision and read a book or something.
4. Mascara
My mom looked at me funny the other day because I was fanning my eyes with my hands in an attempt to dry my eyelashes. But you don't understand the struggle of perfecting your mascara, putting your glasses on, blinking one time, and then getting mascara on the lenses while simultaneously destroying that eyelash perfection.
5. Trying to wear goggles, 3-D glasses, or any other type of eye-wear
You have two choices in this case: either put the eye-wear on top of your glasses and look ridiculous, or take off your glasses and run the risk of injuring yourself and others because you can't see.
6. Hearing "You look so different without glasses on!" every time I wear contacts
Thanks...? I guess? I just wanted to wear these sunglasses like a regular person.
7. Lying down with them on
It doesn't work. If you lie on your side, they smash against the pillow and distort your vision. If you lie on your back, they slide up your nose. If you lie on your stomach, they either slide down your nose, or your arms go numb trying to support your head so the don't slide down your nose. You can never win.
8. Flash photography and other light sources
Did I blink? Did I look at the camera? We'll never know thanks to the light deflecting from my lenses. Shout out to the sun and artificial lighting for that glamorous glare!
9. The trickiness of where to put them during sleepovers
My inner dialogue always goes something like this:
Okay is there a table/sturdy surface somewhere? Nope, it's too far away from where I'm sleeping. I would definitely hurt myself on the way there in the morning. Okay, on the floor it is. Oh, but not too close! I'd push them around in my sleep. Not too far away, either. Someone could step on them. I'll pray to the glasses gods that they survive the night.
10. Having to clean them when you don't have the right material of shirt
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know you're supposed to use that little cloth specifically made for your glasses lenses, but who honestly carries that around with them? So if I ever ask you, "Hey, let me borrow your shirt," 90 percent of the time I'll really mean, "Hey, let me use the corner of your cotton shirt so I can get rid of this annoying smudge".
11. Their cost
"You can get these fairly-priced frames! You'll just kind of look like Harry Potter. Or you could get the ones you actually want and only be able to afford canned tuna for the next three months!" Sigh.
12. Doing anything physical while wearing them
If you're playing a sport that includes a ball, it will definitely hit your face and break your glasses. If you're playing a sport that doesn't include a ball or just exercising, your glasses will definitely slip off your face. If someone as so much as bumps your glasses, you're guaranteed a bruise or cut on your face.
13. Glasses being a part of the "nerd" stereotype
Who decided that poor vision was an indicator of how "uncool" someone is? It's not even remotely accurate; I'm awesome.
14. The process after breaking them
You're lucky if you can get them fixed or receive a new pair within a week. Chances are, your back-up pair (that is, if you have a back-up pair) is out-dated and essentially useless. So you tape your poor glasses back together as best you can and endure the week of answering the question, "What happened to them?"
15. When they fog up
It's always lovely when you're taking something out of the oven or microwave, your glasses fog up from the steam, and you're suddenly holding a scalding hot container and have no way to see where you can put it. It's also a joy to have them fog up when you're just trying to enjoy your hot cup of coffee. I petition that someone creates mini-windshield wipers, but for eyeglasses.
So to my fellow glasses-wearers, I promise you're not alone. We'll triumph through these struggles together...as long as I have my glasses on.
























