It's college graduation! You know what that means: studying, papers, late nights, graduation, diplomas, and drinking. It's really the worst of times, and the absolute best of times. You're not really ready to leave, but you're ready for your next adventure. The following is the 15 steps of college graduation with the bad bitch, Britney Spears.
1. Feeling like a bad-ass senior.
You are top bitch in charge. You know so many people on campus and you can bet your ass they know you too. You'll wave to the underclassmen, but they know their place...right behind you.
2. Going out whenever possible
Ladies night is Wednesday (hello free drinks), $2 drinks Thursday, some bar Friday, and another bar Saturday (who are we kidding, same bar as yesterday). These are your last days, any excuse to drink will suffice.
3. Senioritis
It's too real. You have late assignments, you skipped a class or 2 (or 4), and you're just trying to pass at this point. You don't know how you've done it all these years.
4. You're ready to be done
You're ready to live your life in the real world. It's time to leave this school and a lot of the people in it. You're ready to get a bitchin' job and explore all of the wonderful things life has to offer!
5. School Work
The thought of writing your 20-page final paper haunts you. You were supposed to start it 2 weeks ago, but you're going to pull an all-nighter because it's now due tomorrow. And don't even mention all that studying you didn't do for your tests; thinking about them is making you and crazy.
6. Stress Eating
Even though you're trying to do your work, the power of food compels you. You haven't worked out in 5 days and junk food is the only thing you need right now.
7. Wondering what you're going to do with your life
Between tests and papers you realize you have no idea what you're going to do with your life. You're stress is at an all time high. You don't even know what you're going to do for lunch let alone the rest of your life.
8. Real World
You suddenly rethink joining the real world and how much you are going to have to do. You're broke with no job and suddenly don't want college to end.
9. Student Debt
The saddening moment when your parents and school tell you that very soon you'll have to start paying back thousands of dollars.
10. Moving home
The thought of moving back in with your parents is terrifying. Sure, maybe they'll do laundry and cook. They'll also judge you for drinking, you can't have boys over and, God forbid, you may even have a curfew again. You can't deal with that, you're a grown woman.
You pretend that all of your troubles and the real world are so far away that you don't have to deal with them yet. So you go back to drinking, watching Netflix, and spending money that you don't have.
Suddenly you break out of your denial and realize that you should really get a job. You start applying for everything (mostly stuff that you don't qualify for). I mean, who the hell has 5 years of experience, 2 degrees, and 7 references right out of college? It doesn't matter, you bullshit that resume girl! Call everybody, and don't let anyone tell you that you can't.
12. Leaving People
Realizing that you may never see some people is devastating. You hit a slight depression realizing that people are going all over the country. You're going to miss some people that you didn't even like.
13. Friends
Remembering that even though we're moving on, you have a great group of friends. You know that no matter where you all end up, you'll always have each other forever.
14. Graduation
The excitement you'll get from walking across that stage (hoping not to fall). You worked 4 hard years to earn that degree and you're proud. You know that no matter where you go, you're going to accomplish something great.
15. Grad Money
'nuff said.
