The epitome of absolute chaos. Crazy dance moms silently judging children who aren't their own, studio owners running frantically about, and anxiety coursing through everyone's veins. That's right — dance competitions. Last weekend I participated in a competition myself. Afterwards, I was inspired to write this article about the most cringeworthy aspects of dance that I'm sure a lot of fellow dancers will be able to relate to.
1. Traveling.
Studios seem to have a way of choosing the most inconveniently located dance competitions. Traveling for hours is not typically ideal or enjoyable.
2. Other dancers and dance moms can be exceptionally impolite.
No one wants to receive a nasty look from the act going on after them; neither do they enjoy putting up with the crazy dance mom from heck rambling about how "That girl did not perform as well as [her] daughter."
3. Every purchase at a competition is E-X-P-E-N-S-I-V-E.
Where a sweatshirt is $50 and a water bottle is $6, dance competitions always find a way to extract excessive amounts of money from its attendees.
4. Quick changes.
Being able to successfully complete a change of tights, costume, hair, makeup, and shoes all under two minutes is an essential skill in the competition world.
5. Anticipating a dance is nerve-wracking.
Standing in the wings, waiting to go on stage is often times scarier than actually performing it.
6. Judges can be useless in their comments.
Almost every competition employs a judge that gives very little feedback on each dance. How extremely useful!
7. Judges that give TOO much feedback.
The only thing as bad as a judge that gives no feedback is a judge that gives excessive amounts of feedback. Loving the sound of his or her own voice often results in verbal regurgitation.
8. Time consumption.
The awards, at which attendance is typically mandatory; can be held hours after one performs, leaving them stuck at the competition for long after the completion of dancing.
9. The awards are always crowded.
Either on the stage with other dancers, or in the audience with other parents, those within the complex are packed like sardines come awards time.
10. The smell.
A not-so-pleasant combination of feet, hairspray and fast-food.
11. Too much stuff, not enough space.
It is quite difficult to pack the costume racks, makeup carriers, and suitcases of one hundred dancers into one studio's allotted area.
12. THAT dancer.
The one who did sixteen fouette turns into a calypso with perfect technique and expression. The one who makes you feel as though you're dancing skills are indubitably meager.
13. The awards.
Unless a routine is one of the highest scoring in its division, chances are that its dancers walk away with only a small pin or a ribbon of participation.
14. Scores can be based on the judges' style preference rather than technique and ability.
A dancer can be the most technical ballet dancer at the whole competition. However, if the judges go wild over a group of girls twerking to a Beyonce song, the ballet dancer will score poorly in comparison.
15. The instructors' reactions to the results.
There is nothing scarier than a dance teacher after hearing that their dancers did not make the top ten... watch out.
It is clear that dance competitions are neither the most exciting, nor tolerable place to spend a weekend. Dance moms and dancers alike agree — competitions have the potential to be the very location at which all hell breaks loose.
