Mother Judson, as much as I love it here, there are a few questions that linger in my mind that I feel compelled to ask. Questions about why things are the way they are and why some things take forever to be fixed (or are never fixed).

1. Why can we never have all three dryers working at once?

Yes, they all run, but two of the three just blow cold air and never dry clothes.

2. Can we fix the elevators where they will work for longer than a month before going out of order?

I know stairs are healthy and all that but seriously, they suck.

3. Why must the Barron front door randomly break and stay open?

We don't always think to check and shut the door when we are used to it closing behind us.

4. Speaking of Barron, can we get a larger parking lot?

But really, parking in there sucks. So does pulling out. As does doing anything in that parking lot. Also, a gate would be nice; you know, kind of like W and Kirtley have..you know, to keep our cars safe.

5. Can we stop putting pesto on things that don't need pesto?

*cough* grilled cheese *cough*

6. Can we cook meat that isn't as dry as the Sahara?

Chicken should be edible and not absorb the moisture from my mouth.

7. Will you ever keep the blue PowerAde from running out?

Asking for a friend. @Chloe Crowder

8. If we have rules about how many skips we get in class, can you enforce them?

I hate going to class when others only go the first two weeks then show up only in the dining hall and the gym.

9. Will the roofs ever be fixed?

You know, like how Lowder floods; Barron's roof floods; everything floods. By the way, buckets and trash cans don't fix everything.

10. Can we stop lying to the Board of Trustees/Governors?

They know it's a college. They know we don't just dress up like that. That makes us liars. Liars go to Hell (according to Revelation 21:8 #ThanksGilchrest.

11. Why do we keep professors who consistently get bad evaluations?

And then let them be the only professors who teach the upper-level classes. I wonder why we all fail/drop/audit?

12. Why don't we control our own A/C in the academic buildings?

If the entire class thinks it is as hot as the inner rings of hell, we should be able to fix it.

13. Can we just fix Bean?

It is sketchy, old, always too hot or too cold, and the elevator feels like a death trap. If you can renovate a house that the president doesn't even live in, then we can fix Bean.

14. Why does mold grow in our air conditioners?

We already pay a good bit for college. Let's not add medical bills to the college expense list.

15. Speaking of renovating, when are we going to fix Barron?

I don't know if you have been in here lately, but it needs a makeover. Especially seeing as the bathrooms have an outlet that is on the ceiling over the sink.