Life throws plenty of curve balls at us and throws us off, making us feel as if our life is crumbling. It's in those moments of weakness we find our strength; those people who genuinely care about us, those who have no positive affect in our lives, and motivations to improve ourselves. We also realize when we are truly happy. Through out my life and even the past couple of years, I've made a list of things that I've done to make myself a better person and grow.
1.) Evaluate my friendships
I started doing this in the middle of my high school years when I realized how many years I had left until I was off to college. I evaluated how much time I spent with each individual friend, who I felt more close to, how long I've known, how much I actually know about them, whether they judged me or not, and if they ever talked negatively about me. This sounds pretty awful to do to your friends, but realizing how valuable your relationship with them is extremely important for your future. Albeit 1 year from now, or 10 years from now. I've learned that the fewer friends, the closer the relationships you have with those who you truly value.
2.) Rid of "toxic" or negative people
I've had to do this a couple of times in my life and honestly, it's such a relief. It can be painful sometimes and trying to end it on a good note can be a struggle. Pettiness usually pops up and things go south fast. If someone has changed so much that they are causing so much stress in your life with their drama, drop them off the face of the Earth. If they use you, make you feel like crap, or cause drama between you and your other friends or even just you and them, get rid of them.
3.) Asses the past and present, plan the future
When you want to grow or change for the better as a person, it's a good idea to think about events from the past, the goals you had, and what you inspired to be. Are you that person now? Maybe you want to be someone a little different than that or maybe you already have become that person. Write down those past things.
Next, think about events happening now; things happening in your life, people you surround yourself with, who you are now. Who is that person? Write it down after the past. Finally, where do you see yourself in 5 years and 10 years? Who do you want to be? Who do you want in your life at those times? Compare all those things and make an over all list of those things and make the plans and effort to become those things.
4.) Seek help
College is extremely stressful, I get it. THE STRUGGLE IS REAL. If you are having troubles in a class, ask for help from a friend, the professor, or a tutor. Having something explained one or two more times is so helpful and your GPA will thank you for it.
When it comes to mental health, talk to friends, a professor, or a counselor on campus. Anxiety disorders are the most common mental health disorders among college students due to the high stress they experience. Family, friend, relationship, academic, financial, and self-image stresses are the most common experienced stressors. If your mental health seems to be hindering your academics and social life, get help.
5.) Turn stress into a motivator
I actually learned this from a friend of mine. Stress is great for getting things done, but also can cause you to procrastinate. Avoiding a paper, project, or homework assignment will just make the stress worse. Just keep this in mind: if you do it now, you'll have less stress later and a lesser chance of a full blown breakdown. For some people, it can also help you focus more on something and get it done faster. Stress can also be a motivator when working out because working off stress can lead to more effective work outs.
6.) Worry less about finding an S/O or getting into a relationship, and focus on your friends.
Relationships are overrated and aren't always what you need. Getting into a relationship is a big step to take and can be stressful. I always focus on my friendships and school because they are my priorities, not a relationship (sorry Brandon). Friends will always be there for you, support you, make you laugh, and always be down to hang out with you. Desperation for a relationship can overtake people, damage them more than help them, and cause too much stress and drama. If you truly believe you are ready to take it on, go for it but keep in mind, your education is more important, relationships are temporary (most likely), and friendships are forever.
7.) Be involved
Joining a church, clubs, and intramural sports are a great way to meet some amazing people and have fun.
8.) Make healthy choices
This seems pretty straight forward; hit the gym, eat a healthy, balanced diet, don't drink too much drugs, avoid drugs, think about your actions and those possible consequences, get enough sleep, etc. All those things your health teacher, doctor, parents, and (maybe) grandma told you are important because they've had more life experience than you when it comes to health.
Hit the gym a few times a week for 30 minutes to an hour and each day, focus on different muscle groups: Legs, arms, cardio, abs (which you can end your work out with). Increase weight and or time when you start getting more into shape. If your usual work out routine seems to be too easy now, try something new. Working out with someone else can also help you be more motivated because it will make it feel more competitive.
9.) In the moments of stress or anger, write down your feelings or what is going on.
It may seem silly or give off an "angsty middle schooler vibe", but all my Psychology professors have suggested it. I also do it because I don't like talking to people about my feelings, so I turned to writing in a journal. It's actually fun and relaxing.
10.) Try your hardest
I'm sure you've heard this a million times. However, if you've noticed you've been slacking lately on something and not trying your hardest, get yourself back on track and go full speed ahead. As Ron Swanson once said, "Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing."
11.) RELAX
Take a break on studying if you've been going hard core for a few hours. Take a nap, watch AN EPISODE of your favorite show (not an entire season), hang out with friends for a little bit, go on a hike, hit the gym, or make yourself a cup of coffee and doodle.
12.) Say, "eff it" every once in a while.
I use this on the daily. It's great for any situation, just maybe not say it out loud every time.
13.) People who try to control you are not worth the time
Sadly, it can be anyone in your life who is controlling. It could be a family member, a friend, a coworker, or a boyrfriend/girlfriend. This kind of goes a long with the "Evaluate your friends", but reflect on those in your lives and determine their influence and relationship value.
14.) Do what makes you happy
Don't give up. Persevere. Don't let anyone or anything get in your way.
15.) Stay School-oriented
Whatever you do, DO NOT throw away your education and career to be with someone. It's not worth it.
Whether you're in a rough patch or not, keeping your goals in mind, putting effort to improve yourself, will pay off in the end. Although things may seem to make you sad lately, keep in mind that with out those moments of sadness, how would we know when we are truly happy? Happiness is what we strive for, it's what keeps us motivated. So keep on keeping on and smile. Improve your life so you can be happy, you deserve it.
