It's finally here! The new season of Orange Is The New Black is finally on Netflix and now we can all get our "fix" for about 12 hours. Not enough, but I'll take it. If you haven't watched the whole thing, don't worry! No spoiler alerts to worry about here. These are just a few of my thoughts throughout the new season that I can't get out of my head.
1. The animals, the animals.
It's just so catchy. 'Nuff said. How well do you know the lyrics? Take this quiz and test your level of fandom!
2. Wait, wasn't the last episode of Season 3 the finale?
Maybe I missed the memo, but I really thought the last episode of Season 3 in Orange Is The New Black was the finale! That lake scene would've made a pretty good ending!
3. What's that girl's name again?
It's been a while. This season came a long time after the last one. I can't be the only one who forgot some of the names!
4. Ew, I forgot how gross that slop looked.
I mean, really?
5. Why is Officer Healy trying to be Lolly's "Savior?"
Bless her heart! Mental illness is serious and it has a clear hold on this woman. I'm certainly glad that Officer Healy is there for her, but I wish he wanted to help just to help her instead of trying "fix her" and "save her". He's not her savior but clearly he has a history of trying to be that person to other people that need help.
6. Why do I have to keep looking at Officer Coates' face?
OITNB is applauded for the way that they show rape culture. No longer is rape depicted as only when a stranger comes up from an alley and rapes a man or woman in the night. Here, we see Officer Coates grooming Pennsatucky and raping her. That scene was very graphic and to this day, I can't get it out of my head. In an effort to not trigger any readers, I will stop here, but I just hate having to look at the character's face knowing what he did. Especially since he thinks it was okay.
7. Dang Pipes! You might need to come down a few notches!
Piper has gotten bold! Her panty business may have gone to her head a little bit. Am I the only one that laughed at half the things she would say to people? Plus, that pride group got way out of hand. She seemed surprised, but what did she expect?
8. Caputo is confusing. He's a nice guy sometimes and has a desire to treat the inmates like humans, but other times he has really got to cool it.
Caputo, Caputo, Caputo. Thank you for fighting for education and pushing your guards to be better. However, don't leave your guards up to a task that you know they just can't handle! Fire them and get better ones! Follow through on your own proposals for education instead of letting your lady friend do it because she doesn't have your best interest at heart. Call the police and morgue yourself when you need to! These are things that wardens just do!
9. Ugh, so many new inmates. Why.
When all those new inmates showed up at dinner, I didn't know what to think! It could have been a great way to address the real life issue of over-crowding but after only three lines about it, I never heard about it again. Also, this made me have to learn new names. I just want to watch and not have to pay attention to details!
10. Is it really necessary to have inmates stand on the lunch tables for days at a time? Do the guards really think that it will teach them anything?
The scene with an inmate (don't worry, I won't give details!) standing on the lunch table was sad. That guard was way out of line, and even when he knew he was, he remained hard headed just to prove that he was "better" and "bigger" than her. If you have to make a woman, who is already in prison, stand on a lunch table so long that she pees herself, just to assert your dominance, I think you have some real issues you need to work out with a therapist.
11. The garden. I'll stop there.
Once you get to this part, you'll get it. This was just weird.
12. Netflix, don't make me wait 15 seconds for the next episode. Just play it now. Also, don't make me click play. I just want you to play the next episode now. Oh, and feel free to skip the theme song.
I don't want to have to tell you to play the next episode... I just want you to do it! When I'm comfy on my couch, I don't want to have to move to click play and have to fast forward through the opening. Just take me to the good part! I wanna see the action! I'm emotionally invested in this, you know.
13. Why was this necessary!!
I'll spare the details. No spoiler alerts!
14. Where is this going? Did I seriously already finish the whole season in one day?
Okay, so much is happening. I finished the season and I think I'm gonna need another one to answer my questions. There's another one right? When is it going to be here? How long do I have to wait this time?
This season is jam packed with a ton of drama! Every episode brings something new to the table! It's so hard to keep up! What surprised you the most? Let me know what I left out in the comments below!
