The open road. For the most part, driving is incredible. It's a convenient method of transportation and can be relaxing. But we are all guilty of having these thoughts nearly every time we go behind that wheel.
1. Why is everyone such a bad driver?
Whether they are in every lane but their own, cutting you off, or braking at unnecessary points, we have all fallen into that situation where we are left shaking our heads, fists, or ahem fingers at the offender. Seriously… how do any of these people have their license?
2. I LOVE THIS SONG!
(Alternatively, I haaaaate this song.)
Flipping through the stations, searching for new music to add to your ever growing playlist, and that one super catchy song comes on. If you love it, you start your jam sesh. If you can’t stand it, you still sing along (begrudgingly) if there’s nothing else on the other stations.
3. Did I just pass my exit?
CRAP. I totally did.
This one is more for those who are traveling somewhere unfamiliar, but you’re lying if you tell me that you’ve never taken the wrong exit in your home town. We were all leary new drivers at one point.
4. Is this illegal?
Well I didn’t see a sign that said not to, sooooo… here we go!
Just remember to keep an eye out for police, just in case it is. Whoops.
5. Oh, God, I hope I’m not late.
We all need to wake up a little bit earlier, but sleep is just SO GOOD. I will always take my chances to get that extra 5 minutes, and you know you do, too.
6. 18 wheelers make me anxious.
Out of all the drivers in the world, why is it that they only ride that center line when I’m trying to pass them? We all get a little extra cautious around those bohemoths. What if they don’t see me and merge into me? Gotta go fast!
7. I HATE TRAFFIC.
Seriously. Traffic baffles me. If we can all work together to get a nice flow, it would be phenomenal. There is no reason to be in a stop-and-go-3-feet for an hour. It’s okay, truck in front of me, you can pull up a little more. I have faith in you.
8. How much longer?
Traffic paired with being stuck with radio stations with poor taste can make time drag out longer than the first time you met your partner’s parents. To be honest though, I think I’d take the traffic over those awkward glances and even more awkward silences.
9. Judging other drivers based off of their decals and bumper stickers.
Oh, hello Jesus sticker that just cut me off. HOW KIND OF YOU. I see you, fandom. ;) Oh, look. A monogram. Who wants to bet that it’s a teen/early 20’s woman? We see you, stick family, and we roll our collective eyes. I don’t care that you have 4 kids, 3 dogs, and a cat. No one does. Why is that even a thing?
10. What was that sound?
A rock just hit your door, and you’re left wondering if that’s really what it was. You check your windsheild for new cracks, you hope you didn’t run anything over, and if you’re in a sketchy part of town, you pray you didn’t get shot at. Driving is so FUN.
11. Oh, hey that car was from a different state!
You see the same state license plates every day, so when a different one speeds by, it sticks out like a sore thumb. Either you recognize it, or you try to resist the urge to get way too close to find out. There is no other option.
12. Go ahead… ride my butt. I’ll just slow down.
We have all been there. Some car hasn’t yet learned that there is indeed another lane, so they settle for trying to pressure you into speeding up for them by getting dangerously close. I am my father’s child and am guilty of lightly braking in those situations. But never have I or anyone else sped up for the diva sitting anxiously behind us. We may courteously move over, but I will remain petty and stay at my chosen speed, thank you.
13. Go faster!
Alternatively, when you just want to go the speed limit down a single lane, there will always, unfailingly, be that one car that just can’t grasp the concept of the speed limit. Yes, its there to tell you the fastest you can go, but did you know that there is also a minimum speed limit? You pray that this person just goes a wee bit faster. You start bargaining just to make the car in front of you go the posted speed limit. You start talking to the car in front of you, willing them to speed up. Unless you’re more like me, squeezing the wheel, sitting on the edge of my seat groaning the whole time.
14. Finally! Now when can I go home?
Okay, you made it to your destination. In fact, you got there a few minutes early. But the only thing that matters is that you just want to go back home. You don’t want to be a social butterfly. You regret not calling in sick or cancelling those plans. Right now, you just want the comfort of your sweat pants, a blanket, and the internet. Soon, sweet bed, I will return to you.
