14 Thoughts From The Back Of The Garbage Truck

14 Thoughts From The Back Of The Garbage Truck

Maggots *gags*

My summer job as a city worker entails the enthralling job of garbage pick up. And let me tell you, there is nothing more fun than riding on the back of a metal garbage truck on an 85-degree day while it's filled with 10 tons of garbage.

Now please, I warn you, read with sarcasm. These thoughts have been floating through my head all summer, and some of them will probably make you think twice about your garbage. I write these thoughts as a tribute to my last week on garbage duty.

1. How do you have THIS MUCH garbage?

You would be surprised by how much garbage some people can put out week after week. How on earth do you go through this much?

2. 64-gallon garbage can? No problem, I'm super woman.

If it is heavy for you, it is heavy for me. Our city has a rule that if you have a garbage can that is deemed too big (generally around 64 gallons) you must have everything bagged. Let me know when you lift up a 64-gallon Toter garbage can and dump out the little plastic bags you stuck at the bottom of it. I'll be waiting to hear from your chiropractor about it, too.

3. Yes, thank you for keeping your can out in the rain all week so that it is ten times heavier because it is half full of water.

You go to lift a can and you just about through out your back as you hear everything slosh inside. Time to dump it on its side and watch the water gush out. Almost as cool as going to the Wisconsin Dells! Not.

4. Oh wow, the raccoons got your garbage? Maybe get a garbage can then?

Week after week people will have garbage spewed across their lawn because animals got into it and ripped the flimsy plastic bag apart. GET A CAN!

5. Maggots *gags*.

Enough said there. Clean your cans out people!

6. We haven't picked up those very large glass doors for the past month for a reason, THEY DON'T FIT IN THE TRUCK!

You will be surprised what people think can fit in the back o the garbage truck. Would you like the cycle to break all that glass and have your car run over it? Didn't think so. Get the message, we aren't picking it up. It will continue to sit in your lawn till you do something about it.

7. Ah yes, of course we will take all of your recyclable glass and cardboard; the environment can handle it.

The number amount of people who don't recycle are overwhelming. I get you had a party and that bag of cans is probably easier to throw away than to separate into the recycling, but please for the environment's sake, recycle them.

8. Cat litter, dirt, or human body?

The ever eluding, fun game of what is making this can so freaking heavy? Be the nice people who set it on the side. Except for your bodies, please dispose of those elsewhere.

9. Thank you for hiding that disgusting piece of trash in the can so it will strategically fall out and get all over me. I really appreciate it.

That amount of random disgusting things that have fallen on me because people don't know how to properly tie up a garbage bag is overwhelming. Don't be that person.

10. Oh look, I could probably turn this into a craft, I'm keeping this.

True stuff. I have done this. As I have been told, "The streets will provide."

11. HAHAHAHA, as if.

Some of the things you see on garbage this is really the only response you can have. Some people, I tell ya.

12. Oh wow, must have been a mattress sale.

You are on your third mattress and you aren't even 2 hours into pick up. Yes, we do put the mattresses in the back in crush them. Magical isn't it.

13. Couch, couch, couch, futon, sofa sleeper, 1,2,3 LIFT.

Sofa sleepers should be illegal. Again, if it was heavy for you, it is heavy for us. A few of those in a day will really throw the back into a great whack.

14. I'm judging you by your garbage.

I see that you have three different pizza boxes from three different places. You like pizza, huh? You don't like cooking, huh?

So, when you put out your garbage next time, think of us.


The Garbage People

Cover Image Credit: MetroBoston Trash Trucks

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19 Struggles Only Girls With The 'Looks Thin In Clothes But Not In A Bikini' Body Type Will Understand

A resounding 'thank you' to whoever decided one-pieces were cool again.

We grew up thinking the world was black and white. There's tall people and short people. There's old people and young people.

There's fat people and skinny people.

But as you get older, you realize there is a lot more in between those two ends of the spectrum than you ever thought possible. Especially when it comes to weight. And you do a lot more realizing if you're in an awkward position on that scale... Literally.

1. People always tell you to stop saying you are fat

Obviously, your friends SHOULD prevent you from talking negatively about yourself. And if you only saw you when you were fully dressed, you'd probably tell yourself to stop saying you're fat, too.

2. And are kind of surprised by your actual weight

You've definitely had friends who are shocked by the number on your scale because you can carry it pretty well when you are fully dressed.

3. Sometimes you feel like a catfish

Have you ever changed out of your super cute, flattering outfit and looked at yourself in the mirror and thought... Wow, am I lying to people?

4. But you know this is probably true for most people

When you're wearing clothes, typically the parts of a body that bring about insecurities (stomach, namely) are covered. No matter the body type, you realize most people are more comfortable in clothes than out of them.

5. Your confidence is often contingent on the month

November? Yep, won't need to be in shorts or a bikini for about 7-8 months. I am good to go.

February? I'll need to be in a bikini soon.. I could use some work.

6. You are thrilled by the one-piece bathing suit making a fashion come back

A resounding 'thank you' to whoever decided it was time to give one-pieces a try again. The stomachs of us in-between gals are appreciative.

7. Crop tops are 95% of the time not your top of choice

Yeah, okay, clothes are supposed to work for me and not against me.

8. You honestly don't understand jean sizes

I have fluctuated in weight a lot of my life, most recently losing 25lbs, and I still did not budge in jean sizes.

9. You wonder what other people think when they see you

Do other people see me as thin in clothing? Or fat in a bikini? What size am I perceived as?

10. Shopping is kind of a nightmare

Have you ever found about 27 items you liked, added the prices and thought, ah, it is going to be so tough to choose from all of these items? Only to go into the fitting room and realize only 2 of the items fit you well? Yep, me every single time I go to the store.

SEE ALSO: 7 Struggles Of Being The Girl Who Is "Not Skinny" But Also "Not Fat"

11. You're thankful that at least you've got boobs

You can kind of hide them in clothes, and then let them steal the show away from your tummy in a swimsuit.

12. You have a hard time setting weight-loss goals

You aren't really sure how overweight you are (if you are, at all) and you don't want to be at an unhealthy weight on either side of the spectrum.

13. Body positivity comes and goes

There are days, weeks or even months when you feel like the most beautiful person on the planet, and then something happens (old jeans don't fit, you try on a new bathing suit, etc.) and you convince yourself that all of that confidence was wrong and undeserved.

14. You always try on the biggest size first

Either this or you're in a weird limbo between the smallest plus sizes size and the biggest generic sizes size.

15. Half of you knows every body is a bikini body, and half of you is convinced that yours is not

You know that your body is worthy of wearing whatever you want to wear, but looking at yourself and seeing what society (and you) sometimes deem as unattractive can eat away at that knowledge.

16. But you also know self-love and confidence are key to beauty

Even if you have to fake it, you know that feeling confident is going to carry you pretty far.

17. Being in a bathing suit is a constant game of readjustment

Okay, I am sitting. Pull the bottoms up to cover as much as my stomach as possible and the back of the top down to cover any back rolls.

18. You've avoided the mirror after a shower before

You know that you are just going to lose all the comfort you felt in your body during the day when you see yourself, so sometimes it is best to just avoid it.

19. Ultimately, you know your beauty is not contingent on what you are wearing

The goal for everyone should be to get to a point where it doesn't matter if you're in a snowsuit, a bathing suit or a birthday suit... You can see your beauty no matter what and feel confident despite what you have on. It'll take time, but falling in love with the way you look is worth it.

Cover Image Credit: Sara Petty

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The End Of The Year Itch

The final stretch until summer time.

It is the almost the most wonderful time of the year: summer vacation! If you’re like me that means an internship and work but getting to stay in your favorite city! Plus living with my best friend!

That also means you are probably experiencing what I call the end of the year itch, it’s that super uncomfortable and irritating transition from school to a summer vacation that drives me absolutely mad.

This is the time right before you take final exams that you truly feel like you might rip all of your hair out if summer doesn’t get here soon! Just me? Probably.

We've arrived at the last stop before break and professors are frisbeeing assignments left and right. The library is no longer a peaceful place but rather a funhouse of chaos hinted with a tense, anxiety-filled atmosphere. Study rooms are long gone and booked so it's every man for himself.

If you live with people this is the time that y'all are starting to drive each other beyond crazy, and are in need of some time apart especially if you plan on living together the following year.

I have lived with 6+ people since my freshman year of college and this has always proven true. Absence does make the heart grow fonder and is the silent glue that holds a friendship together. I love the feeling of being back at school with my friends and hearing all about their summer adventures while also looking forward to the future.

And don't forget the little things you have to take care of like canceling your parking pass for the summer, finding a place to sublease or a subleaser, and all of the packing/unpacking it takes to move out of one place and into another. Whew! There is no greater feeling than the sweet relief of being moved in/out and unpacked.

Then finally the heat wave hits, you don't have to use the words exam or group project for two and half months. That end of the year itch is covered by a suntan and there are nothing but blue skies my friend. You may be busy with other things but hey at least you're not in class, right?

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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