I'm a woman of many talents; a jack of all trades, you could say. Over the 21 years that I've been on this Earth, I've spent countless hours perfecting a wide variety of skills. I like to make sure everyone around me knows how gifted I am, so I made a list of all the things that I've mastered so far.
1. Going through the McDonald's drive-thru and eating all of my fries before I get home
One hand on the steering wheel, the other stuffing my face with greasy goodness.
2. Attracting insects
I've never met anyone who gets as many bug bites as I do. If only I could attract men as much as I attract insects...
3. Being dramatic
If you ever need someone to blow a situation completely out of proportion, I'm your girl.
4. Forming an emotional bond with stray cats on the street
If I had the time, money, and adequate living space to care for every single stray cat that I found on the street, I would.
5. Not knowing what to order at a restaurant
"Do you need a few more minutes to choose something from the menu?" No, I need a few more days.
6. Buying things that I don't need and will probably never use
Goodbye money and hello fancy desk organizer.
7. Drinking too much coffee
No, I don't have a boyfriend. I'm in a committed relationship with coffee.
8. Being tired
I'm so good at being mentally and physically exhausted that I do it 24/7.
9. Overthinking
I could just let it go... or I could spend several hours obsessing over every little aspect of it until I get a migraine.
10. Laughing at my own jokes
I don't need a hype man. I have me.
11. Losing my Chapstick
If losing your Chapstick less than 24 hours after buying it was a desirable skill that people paid money to take classes on, I would be rich.
12. Forgetting where I parked my car
The process of looking for my car in the parking lot takes up a solid 15 minutes of my life every single time I go somewhere.
13. Logging onto Facebook to check something really quick, getting distracted by a link on my news feed, and then coming to my senses two hours later having completely forgotten why I originally logged onto Facebook
I swear I was going to do something productive.
14. Researching (stalking) celebrities, cute boys, and beauty gurus on social media
If Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson ever have a falling out, I could take over the role of investigative assistant.