1. Flies
Enough said. Flies suck, especially when it's trapped inside your car and you can't manage to kill it.
2. The Sun
You may be good for heating and lighting our planet, but get out of my eyes while i drive. I would love to actually be able to SEE the road sometimes.
3. Netflix
You have ruined my social life. Instead of talking to other humans, I sat in bed for two days binge watching 'Stranger Things' and stuffing my face with ice cream and Goldfish.
4. Daylight Savings Time
You were good for the first night when I got that blessed extra hour of sleep. But now, the sun sets at like 5 p.m., and I now eat dinner at four with the senior citizens. That forces me to find another "dinner" at 7 p.m., when normal people eat.
5. Paying for School
I'm trying to learn and take enough credits to be considered a full-time student, but spend a million dollars a semester in the process.
6. Jimmy Johns
You get here in an insanely fast time and it bothers me. How come YOU can do it but the second I order from somewhere else the wait time is 45 minutes to an hour. WHAT IS YOUR SECRET?
7. Football Season
I love it when you're here and when my team wins. But the second football season is over or my team loses once again by ONE FREAKING POINT, you are automatically at the top of my kill list.
8. Thanksgiving Dinner
Because it's the only time it's socially acceptable to eat four types of pie and three pounds of mashed potatoes in one sitting. Therefore, causing me to have the largest food coma there ever was.
9. Delish/Tasty Videos
I can’t cook and you make me think I can.
10. The Holiday’s
I look forward to you every year, and then you show up and my wallet is empty. Why must you make me want to buy my friend’s dog a new chew toy? He doesn’t know who I am, and it’s not like he’s getting me a gift in return.
11. Timehop
Every day is a new look back at how awkward I was just a mere three years ago. Why did I find it necessary to tell all my Facebook friends that I was going to the mall with so and so and we were also going to the movies? They don’t care, and future me doesn’t either.
12. People Who Like Scary Things
For the 100th time, no I will not sit with you and watch demons take over a haunted house and kill everyone inside. No, I will not pay money to get scared out of my mind and not sleep for weeks.
13. Friends Who Go to Different Colleges
Transfer so we can hang out. The End.
14. Writing Odyssey Articles
I try to be relatable and funny and I’ll read them back and realize that I am not funny at all. Like seriously, listen to yourself: you’re not funny.
