Just a girl trying to survive her college years, the very first time that I realized I never aged past the handwriting talents of a 5-year-old boy was harrowing. It all began in the third grade, when my teacher at the time, Mrs. Duffy— a kind-hearted, lovely woman who I looked up to, asked me to never handwrite again. Yes, she was advised by the staff who had taught me before her to recommend that I write only in cursive from now on.
This recommendation that I abandon my handwritten days and opt for the slow and painstaking process of cursive writing began as a bit of a pleasant shock, as I was under the impression that I must just have amazing cursive talents. Once I realized it was a result of my choppy, uneven, illegible normal handwriting that nobody wanted to attempt to read, it developed within me both a deep-rooted insecurity and a fire to reject this cursive alternative. It was just the start of a traumatic journey of growing up as a girl with horrendous handwriting.
Of course, this brought about a lot of confusion and negative emotions throughout my childhood. I'd looked with wonder and envy at the papers and notes of my female peers, and their exotic, font-like handwriting. I suffered through years of this ordeal, but I step forward today to share my struggle, in the hopes of relating to and inspiring those who face a similar situation, or maybe just to vent.
Here are the 14 struggles of growing up as a girl with bad handwriting:
1. In-class essays...
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Also known as the most dreaded moments of the year, in-class essays single-handedly caused at least 13 separate breakouts on my face. Having to write a full essay, on paper, with no edit opportunities and in an impossibly small amount of time? Forget it.
2. Forging your parents’ notes...
All I needed was a simple handwritten excuse for my tardiness, and yet, each time I tried to forge it, the attendance staff looked at me in disapproval while they crumpled up my butchered note— as if it were written in Spanish with a purple crayon and marked me late, again. The tell-tale "parent" signature that started shaky and ended in an illegible scribble didn’t help much either.
3. Standardized test essays...
All I have to say about this is that after taking my first ACTs, I received an email that my essay could not be scored because it either was left blank, written in a language other than English, or was illegible. Unfortunately, it wasn’t either of the first two options.
4. Any type of attempt at a cute personal letter...
Handwritten letters are more personal, they said. It's the thought that counts, they said. Wrong. I have made countless attempts to write eloquent, thoughtful, aesthetically pleasing letters to friends and loved ones, and each time they have ended up crumpled in the garbage. No matter how many colorful pens and cute pictures I try and distract the reader with, it simply comes down to the fact that I’m more of an email girl.
5. Grocery lists...
What did I want to eat again? I guess it doesn’t matter, I’ll just assume milk, bread and eggs made the list again since I can’t read the rest. This is where the Notes app built into your iPhone really comes in handy, and Steve Jobs can save the day. Electronic grocery lists are the only way for us disadvantaged hand writers.
6. Cards/yearbooks/anything that requires a short message and a signature...
Over years of signing variations of "Happy Birthday" and "congrats" on cards, my messages have gotten shorter and shorter each time simply to spare the recipient. When it comes to yearbooks, it’s safe to say that a simple "HAGS" is my go-to.
7. Constant teacher judgment and commentary...
Not only have I been personally victimized by multiple discussions with teachers regarding my handwriting issues, but I also have to endure the petty written commentary when I'm handed my work back! If I have to see one more comment in the margin of my paper written in red pen telling me the teacher thinks that I need to work on my legibility, I’ll scream.
8. Crippling pain following any type of handwriting attempt...
9. Exchanging essays to peer-review, only to swap with someone with perfect, font-like handwriting...
This has to be one of the most embarrassing. The amount of times I have to apologize to the recipient of my paper for its illegibility and end up just explaining the gist of it so they don’t have to suffer through the overwhelming task of actually reading the essay is borderline concerning.
10. Going through the excruciating attempt to write slowly and legibly...
Believe me, I have tried to give myself a nice handwriting boot camp, practicing writing the alphabet, definitively deciding to write my G’s one way that looks neat and pretty, only to slink back to the ugly original inconsistent handwriting that always seems to thwart my plans. This is a doomed attempt that simply wastes everyone’s time in the end.
11. Lending notes to others...
I can't remember the last time I didn't have to give someone a disclaimer that they 'may not be able to read them' as I handed them my scribbled notes from class that day. Although, maybe this isn’t exactly a struggle? I can just keep my notes since they won’t do anyone else any good, anyways. Not that I can read them myself.
12. Those quizzes that tell you anything about yourself based on your handwriting...
I must be the most troubled, hopeless person in the world if these quizzes have any type of accuracy. Do all of the most successful people have evenly spaced, positively slanted, perfectly sized handwriting? I am clearly doomed based on my penmanship.
13. Filling out any sort of official document...
I’m still confused how anybody can legibly fit their address in a tiny box that is definitely meant for a middle initial. Genuinely, a formal document is in itself a workout for my hands and brain as I try and flawlessly transcribe my information into impossibly small spaces.
14. THIS IS WHAT COMPUTERS ARE MEANT FOR, to be honest.
I GO ALL THE WAY THROUGH SCHOOL ONLY TO PROGRESS TO A TECHNOLOGICALLY ADVANCED WORLD. Computers over everything— I hope I never have to handwrite again. Bring on the future!
