14 Things Having Strict Parents Taught Me

14 Things Having Strict Parents Taught Me

Thanks mom and dad.
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Growing up, there wasn't much that got past my parents. They were older, wiser, and not putting up with nonsense from their second and last child. I would wonder why I couldn't do certain things my friends could and I felt as if I was being treated like a child. My favorite line to make my parents feel bad when I didn't get my way was "Why don't you trust me?" Although there were times I wanted to literally run away and pull my hair out of my scalp, as I grow older I am thankful for the distinct values and morals my parents instilled in me.

1. Save the tears for your pillow.

If I was being yelled at by my parents, tears were not an option. If I even felt my eyes getting wet or snot coming from my nose, it was time to suck that mess back in because tears were meant for the pillow not for my parents to deal with.

2. Sleepovers are nonexistent.

I can truthfully say my parents never got comfortable with sleepovers until my senior year of high school and that's even an overstatement. If they didn't know the parents on a personal level, it was a no. If the parent didn't call them to make sure it was okay for me to spend the night, it was a no. Not only was a phone call needed, but basically a full background check and interrogation. Pretty much, if I asked to sleepover anywhere it was a solid no.

3. "So and so is not my child."

I learned quickly to never bring up my friends who could do the things I was not allowed to my parents because so and so was not their child and they were an irrelevant factor to the situation

4. Good grades were expected.

Personally my parents were never constantly on my back about having good grades, but they were expected. A's were not monetary rewarded in my household, but I guess you could say proud parents, having a house to live in, A/C, clothes to wear, a phone, and a car were the numerous rewards.

5. Extracurricular activities were a must.

Laying up in the house all day was not acceptable. However, my parents always had me busy growing up whether it was dance, piano, choir, basketball, plays, church, or whatever, so eventually they let me make the choice in what I wanted to do in order to stay out of the house and trouble.

6. My parents are not my friends.

As I got older, my relationship with my parents became stronger and more comfortable, but I quickly found out after crossing the boundary that my parents were not friends until I'm grown. I later found out that being 18 did not mean I was grown. Until I could support my self financially and I was completely independent, then I was considered grown by my parents.

7. Smacking lips

Unless I wanted my lips removed by the back hand of my mother or father, then smacking my lips was not a good idea.

8. First name basis

Unless I lost in a very big store, then that was the only time it was acceptable to call my parents by their first name. If I ever thought about disrespecting my parents with the use of their government names, then that would be the end of me.

9. Respecting authority

I learned at a young age that respecting authority was a must. It did not matter if I had a disagreement with the person in authority. At times I've found this difficult, but it has made my relationship with adults and people in authority easier and more cordial.

10. Curfew

My curfew until my senior year was midnight and if my parents were feeling generous then maybe 12:30. This was no argument or open for discussion. If we're being optimistic, I guess you could say having a curfew taught me how to make the most of my time and how to speed.

11. Cussing

Cussing in front of my parents was a death sentence awaiting. I have to watch my mouth at all times and if I didn't the consequence was much worse than a quarter in the swear jar.

12. Tell them things in advance.

If I wanted to go to a party or really anywhere, I had to tell my parents at least a week in advance because if I didn't they would tell me things like "a responsible adult would have these things planned out." It takes at least five business days to convince them to let me do anything.

13. How to get my parents to say yes.

I'm not saying I learned how to lie and sneak with strict parents, but I definitely learned how to reword situations, build sympathy, and leave a few things out to make stuff seem more appealing to my parents.

14. How to be a well behaved human being.

All in all, having strict parents taught me how to be a decent human being. It showed me how to take care of my business, how to respect others, and respect myself. although there were many times I felt like my parents actions were unfair, now that I'm older I'm thankful for the way I was brought up. I'm happy that my parent expected more from me and put me on a higher pedestal than other people's children. It has ultimately made me into a better person and I attribute my success to many of their teachings.

Cover Image Credit: MommyBrown.com

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An Open Letter to the Best Friend I Didn't See Coming

Some people come into your life and change you forever—thanks, bestie.
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Dear best friend,

I wasn't expecting you when God placed you in my life. I had my friends. I had my people. I wasn't exactly open to the idea of new meaningful friendships because I had the ones I needed, and it didn't seem like I really needed anybody new.

Thank God that was false. Sometimes you meet people and you just know that you're going to be good friends with. Sometimes you meet people and you realize that there is no such thing as chance. I think God has a funny way of making it seem as if the things that happen to us are by chance, but honestly, that’s a load of crap. If the biggest moments of our lives were left up to chance, then I believe that would make God out to seem as if he didn’t care. It would make it seem as if He was truly abandoning me and making me face some of my most important seasons fully isolated. But you, best friend, are a true testament to the fact that God doesn’t just leave such important aspects up to chance. Thank you for taking a chance on our friendship, and thank you for allowing me to take a chance on what I didn’t realize would be the most impactful friendship in my entire life.

Thank you for being real with me. Thank you for not sugar coating things. Thank you for telling me when I have a bad attitude. Thank you for loving me through my mistakes. Thank you for supporting me in my decisions, even if it isn’t always the decision you would make. Thank you for wanting the best for me, and for making that your true intent behind the words that you say to me, whether they be constructive criticism or encouragement.

Thank you for being a goof with me. Thank you for putting me first. Thank you for seeing the importance of our friendship. Thank you for making time in your schedule for us to just sit and do homework, eat Mexican food, or sit on the porch and listen to music that emotionally wrecks you.

You’re one of a kind. You’re a shoulder to lean on. You’re a safe place. You’re a free spirit. You’re rough and tough, but your heart melts for the people you love and it’s obvious. You’re more than meets the eye. You are worth getting to know. You are worth loving. You pursue people. You are passionate about your future. You are everything that a person needs, and I really thank God that for some reason you continue to choose to be in my life. Thank you for literally dragging me up my mountains of fear when I want to stay exactly where I am at and wallow in the sadness. You bring joy—true joy—wherever you go. You are my best friend, confidant, and biggest fan. You will be the Maid of Honor, Godmother, and fun Aunt.

I used to think lifelong friendships weren’t really a thing. It just seemed like people always grew apart and forever was never a point that was attainable. Best friends forever is a cliché phrase that is continuously overused nowadays (sometimes, I even used to make light of it), but thanks for making that a reality. You are truly the best friend I could have asked for. So thank you for it all. You make life more fun, and I couldn’t thank God more for making an incredible human, friends with me.

I love you, pal!

JQ

Cover Image Credit: Julia Dee Qualls

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In the Spirit of My Sister's Recent Birthday

From your sister, with love.

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So I have one blood sibling: a sister. We've had a very average relationship as far as I have seen. She's older than me so she started out with a lot of attention, but that changed when I came along. The attention had to be shared between the two of us. You get the idea.

We fought. Sometimes it was really bad. We made up in record time, every time. We laughed to the point where family members wouldn't let us be around other people until we could "get it together", but then laugh some more at the fact that if you stripped us of "the silly" there'd be nothing left.

Around the time she hit high school, she started to show her rebellious side to myself and our parents. I learned a lot from her in that time, in ways I'm sure she never knew, mostly from her doing the opposite. For example, I learned a great deal about having empathy for your parents. They are just two other humans (or one in some other people's cases) doing the best they can to raise another human. She made mistakes like any other human and I learned from them.

During her college years and up until the point that I went in, she was always living somewhere else. I'd see her from time to time, but it felt pretty infrequent. In recent years, things are a little different. I'm able to relate to how she felt in some ways during her rebellious phase and she isn't as much of a stranger. But now there is the distance of a few states between us.

I intentionally spun this story in a hopefully not disgustingly, but still slightly negative light to get to here.
No matter where I am or what I'm doing. No matter if I am out with a group of friends or if I have been shut inside for a week. My sister is the person who is going to understand the obscure meme that I just sent at 1:30 a.m. because my stubborn self hasn't gone to sleep yet. AND... She's probably going to know why I decided to procrastinate.

I was hesitant to write another "siblings are valuable and here's why" article, but then I realized that these articles exist for a reason. Anyone who knows me personally knows I'm not one for being too gushy or emotional, so this is the best way I can express these sentiments.

Sister (you know who you are)

I love you.

Happy Birthday🎈

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