Procrastination is the best and the worst. The best because for a few hours (or days) you get to remove yourself from academic reality. The worst because the panic that follows is debilitating. If you're ever at a loss for how to procrastinate and you feel that panic coming on, here are a few tips:
1. Pretend you don't have anything due in the immediate future.
Even though you do, because it's April and professors are relentless
2. Think about how stacked this semester was.
Before spring break your workload was about 25%, now it's 75%. That's 100% bullshit.
3. Netflix, Netflix, Netflix.
As if you didn't already know this one.
4. Do the math.
How much will not doing this assignment affect your grade?
5. Do literally anything but the assignment.
Clean your room? Sure. Cook food? Not a problem. Do some form of physical activity? Already there. This makes you think that, despite doing nothing academic, you have accomplished a lot.
6. Write an article for The Odyssey.
10 page paper about how biomedical ethics plays into animal testing? 5 page draft on why bees are declining? 5-page paper comparing a movie with a mentally unstable character to one that is healthy? Not important. Gotta write this article.
7. Play slither.io.
I hate this game but now I have to avenge myself for being killed about 17 times in a row.
8. Check social media accounts.
Then complain to your friends about how that one person from high school is being an offensive moron (again).
9. Flashback to a particularly embarrassing moment from the past.
This isn't intended procrastination, but it does take about ten minutes to recover.
10. Nap.
After all, you can't do anything academic if you're tired (this is a lie).
11. Pick an optimal time to start your work.
You have to wait until 4:30, because 4:22 isn't even. Then you get distracted and suddenly it's 4:31. So you might as well wait until 4:45 now.
12. Distract other people.
Now is a good time to call your mom, ask your friends about their future goals, play with your dogs. Anything. Anything but the homework.
13. Try to think of other ways to procrastinate.
Once you're all out of ways to avoid your assignments, it's time to either: A) see number 1 or B) accept your fate and just do the assignments.
Good luck either way.
