I've watched a lot of makeup tutorials, and I ask myself the same questions almost every single time. These are those constant questions.

1. Can we get started with the tutorial please?

I don’t really have the patience for some of the longer tutorials. (Minute-long Insta tutorials are my fave for this reason.) A lot of people start their videos by showing off the finished look or spend a large amount of time waving, smiling and saying “Welcome to my channel!” That’s all fine and dandy, but I came here to watch you beat your face. Let’s get going.

2. Do “bad makeup days” exist for MUAs? Seriously.

I can’t be the only person that has days where my makeup will not cooperate. Sometimes my eye shadow doesn’t blend, my foundation is blotchy and my wings absolutely do not match. MUAs (MakeUp Artists) get a flawless finish every. Single. Time.

3. Where are your pores???

Makeup artists credit their baby-bottom-smooth skin to moisturizer and exfoliator, which aggravates me because I moisturize and exfoliate and my face still looks like a splotchy pepperoni pizza. Some of them have such beautiful, clear skin that I don’t know why they even bother putting on foundation.

4. How does that eye shadow not look cakey?

A lot of MUAs apply layer after layer of eye shadow to their lids and don’t have any issues with smudging or fallout. That’s cool. I’ll be over here, massaging my creasing undereyes that are permanently dusted with fallout and flecks of mascara.

5. The makeup-applying trends are getting more and more ridiculous.

Apparently Beauty Blenders are old news, because MUAs are applying foundation with condoms (yes, really) and little brushes that look like something I would use to put a ponytail in my American Girl doll's hair.

6. Speaking of brushes, how many do these people OWN?

I only use four brushes. Some of these MUAs blend together eight different eye shadows and use a new brush for each one. Giiiiirl.

7. And one more thing about brushes—I don’t care which one you’re using.

I’m sure some people do, but I probably can’t afford it anyway. Oh, you’re using a “Mac 239?” More like, “You’re wasting my time.”

8. That being said, PLEASE DO NOT USE YOUR FINGERS.

You own all these brushes and you choose to apply your foundation with your fingers? I’m cringing.

9. I can’t be the only one who thinks that the current contour/highlight trend looks like tribal makeup before it’s blended in.

I mean, come on. Look at it.

10. This tutorial is making me hungry.

MUAs talk about baking, and so many shadows have names like “Milk Chocolate” and “Vanilla.” Send baked goods ASAP.

11. I wonder how long this entire look took to complete if it took me a half an hour to watch it.

I mean, I know fierce makeup takes time but I’ve been watching you rub that brush on your cheekbone for a solid minute and it doesn’t look any different.

12. Where could you possibly wear that look?

That glittery purple eyeliner with teal and fuchsia eye shadow is not exactly an everyday look. Are you going to the grocery store or a Mardi Gras party?

13. Why did I spend so much time watching this look when I know I won't even bother putting on makeup today?

I often have no makeup on when I watch tutorials. After a video I feel inspired to go beautify, but then I end up only putting on a little mascara.