Everyone who has ever stepped inside of a Wegmans will tell you the same thing: this place is insanely awesome. Why we have such intense feelings about a grocery store is something of a mystery for those who have never had the distinct pleasure of shopping in such an enjoyable place, but for those of us who go regularly it is like home. There are many things that make Wegmans the best grocery store to ever exist and the only one to ever elicit such an emotional response from patrons, but I am here to shed light on the thoughts we all know we share when we go into Danny's version of an adult playground.
1. Where do I start?
Even seasoned shoppers and soccer moms have a hard time with this. Wegmans can be intimidating and overwhelming for anyone, especially when it's not "your Wegmans," but that is because it is a vast food wonderland of dreams and freshness.
2. What the F*** is a burger bar, and why do I feel like I need it in my life?
While there are only four of these locations, this is still a valid thought that people would have going into one of these because, really, why do we need that? Who cares? It's going to be delicious either way.
3. Oh, look! It's everyone I know in the bakery at once!
If you think you're going to walk into a Wegmans anywhere near where you live and not see someone (or everyone) you know, you're lying to yourself and you need a slap in the face. It could be 3 a.m. and you will still see your first grade teacher, middle school principal, great aunt, and some weird guy from Tinder.
4. I have never felt so emotionally connected to fresh produce in my life.
Wegmans is known for their impossibly fresh produce, and their selection of organic produce on top of the normal stuff is unparalleled. As a college student, any fruits and veggies that I can get my hands on are good, but this just takes the love to a whole new level because I can have an apple that actually doesn't taste like a roofing tile.
5. Look at all these fancy desserts that I can't afford!
I'm lookin' at you, fancy fruit tarts. Every single time I walk through the bakery, my heart breaks a little bit because everything is so delicious and my heart is telling me yes, but my wallet tells me no. I admit to buying one of their better-than-sex cookie cakes for no reason other than to satisfy a craving. And yes, I have had them write happy birthday on it so that I didn't look like an idiot who buys a whole cookie cake for herself. No shame.
6. I just ate, but the prepared foods section is calling my name.
Ahhh, prepared foods. No other grocery store can compare to the pure bliss that is the Wegmans prepared foods section. I cannot remember the last time I didn't push the very limits of my bank account from eating there. Fresh fruit, Chinese food, salads, Mexican food, sushi, $6 meals (or is is $8 now? I have not a care in the world about price when it comes to this heaven). It's all so delicious that I can never really decide what I want, so I end up in a black hole, $15 deep in fried rice, coconut shrimp rolls, and fruit salad. No shame there either.
7. I didn't know this many varieties of apples existed.
We're all from the northeast, so we know our apples, especially since many of us Wegmans worshippers are Rochesterians. Wegmans carries every kind of apple you can imagine, so even the craziest of apple connoisseurs are impressed by their selection.
8. I came in for a gallon of milk and I left with something from every aisle.
It's the reality we know all too well. Moms do it, kids do it, and even dads who just want to be in and out quickly are guilty of the same thing. Everything is so tempting and delicious and their marketing team needs a giant bonus because their product placement strategy is on point.
9. Why is everyone so nice and happy right now?
Whether they're coming off an eight-hour front end shift or stocking shelves or cutting meat, all of the employees are always smiling and happy. How? Because Wegmans knows how to make (and keep) happy employees. There is obviously some kind of sorcery involved...or they're just the best company to ever exist on this planet and they will never be surpassed in customer service (sorry, Publix, A+ for effort, though).
10. Why is Wegmans' own brand better than the name brands?
Don't ask questions, just admire the affordable and delicious magic that is Wegmans (their version of Oreos put the actual Oreos to shame, by the way).
11. These people really have their lives together.
From my experience, it seems like every time I walk into Wegmans, it's like everyone working there knows what they're doing all the time, which is a lot to say for a place that gets so crazy. Everyone always knows what is going on, and when the woman with the Kate Gosling can-I-speak-to-the-manager haircut struts over to the service desk, they handle whatever ridiculous complaint they receive with grace because, well, these employees are magicians or wizards or something.
12. Honey, I'm home!
Going to Wegmans feels like home for me because, as cheesy as it sounds, I feel like part of an awesome family whenever I walk through the doors. Being away from it in Florida only makes me appreciate Wegmans so much more and when I go home in May, you best believe I will be going and getting myself some Wegmans Famous Old Fashioned Chocolate Chip Cookies and a nice sub on my way home from the airport.
13. I'm never shopping anywhere else, or I will be extremely disappointed.
You will seriously never find a better store, so stop arguing for Whole Foods, Costco, Publix, or any other wannabe store. Wegmans is the real deal. Going there for the first time may shock you, but it's a good thing. Wegmans is not a store, it's a lifestyle. Sorry, not sorry.
