There's many things I wish I had known in high school, but here I have listed just a few. I wouldn't be who I am if it wasn't for my high school career. I made mistakes and experienced some ups and downs. But I let some things bug me that shouldn't have back then.
1. It's a bad day, not a bad life.
On my retreats I used to say that it's just a battle in a long war, you win some, you lose some. If you failed a test, it doesn't mean you're a bad student. It also should make the rest of your week miserable. Just move on and try to do better.
2. It won't matter if he was on the football team.
Just because he plays football, or whatever sport, in high school doesn't necessarily mean he'll go proone day. I always dated and talked to the not-so popular boys with the higher GPA's that not everyone knew about, and I never really saw that those boys will one day be in better positions than the popular boys on the sports teams. So like someone because you like them, and not because everyone else does.
3. Don’t put everything on Facebook or Twitter, save some of it for yourself.
Timehop shows me this more than anything, when I look back and see freshman year that 15-year-old me decided I should tweet about the sky being a weird color or taking a selfie with a duck face (full regrets). It's fun to have pictures on your camera or phone that not everyone will see, especially the goofy ones, so don't post everything.
4. If you think you deserve better, you probably do. Say goodbye.
This is one I know I struggled with, as well as a lot of my friends. No one really tells you that you deserve better, or that better exists. So you stick with something not realizing how bad it is until you're out of it and find someone new. I see this still, even in my sophomore year of college. If he doesn't tell you you're beautiful every chance he gets, or reminds you how amazing you are as a person, if he hits you because you're arguing or doesn't like when you voice your opinion, leave him. The same goes for your friends.
5. No matter how nice you are, not everyone will like you. Don't let it bother you.
This is another one it took a while for me to understand. I had always tried to be nice to people, I don't judge and I am very open, and still a month into my freshman year I had a few girls who I had never talked to that hated me. I got called some "fun" names and did my best to ignore it and still say hi to them, and yet, they still said terrible things. This continued until graduation, but I talked to them in classes and tried my best to treat them as I treated everyone else. I realize now that their opinion didn't matter. They didn't really know me, so I should not let their vulgar words define me.
6. You were beautiful before he told you.
Since I went to an all-girl school, I think most of my classmates understood this before most girls do. But still, I heard of girls needing guys to define them and help them find who they are. You are beautiful even in your most awkward phase, even with your glasses and braces. You don't need a guy to tell you that.
7. Get to know someone before you judge them. Stereotypes are wrong and misleading.
This one is hard for me to even think about what to say because I never really understood the point of stereotypes. But I guess, just because they're "popular" doesn't make them a bully and doesn't mean they will think they are better than you. I led multiple retreats and had the popular kids and not-so popular kids in my groups. And at the end of the day, you couldn't really tell who belonged to which stereotype. Some of the rich kids I knew were the nicest people I ever met, when those who were not as wealthy wouldn't even give me the time of day. Someone's past and friends do not define them, they are their own person.
8. Learn from your mistakes, but don't let them define you.
You messed up once, you said something you probably shouldn't have, you kissed your friend's crush at a party because you wanted to after they called "dibs". But these decisions don't define you. So you learn not to make that decision again, to say something nice instead of negative, and to kiss your own crush and not your friend's. But you know these things now. You can't really learn something until you experience it yourself, but if you make a mistake you know not to do it again.
9. Prom isn't the best night of your life, but go anyways.
Prom is so overrated in books and movies, but it is a lot of fun. I have the same amount of fun at college football games as I did at prom. I had a date junior year, and didn't senior year, and both were just as fun. So spend money on that dress you really want, get mani-pedi's with your friends and die in those heels. Enjoy it while you can. My best memories did not take place at prom or school dances, but I did have fun. Also, learn how to put a boutonniere on your date before he arrives to pick you up.
10. High school isn't the best time of your life, but embrace it while you can. You will miss some of it.
After high school you realize what's actually important and what isn't. Your Friday nights in high school will be overshadowed by your Friday and Saturday nights in college. There's more to come. Yes, school gets harder and life gets more difficult after high school, but it's worth it and it'll all come together in the end.
11. Join a club or attend an event, even if your friends don't.
So if I decided not to be a retreat leader because not all
of my friends were doing it, I wouldn't have experienced some of the best
moments of my high school career. Or if I decided I didn't want to jump into a pool of water in winter because none of my friends were doing it, I wouldn't have some priceless pictures. If you really want to do something, try it.
If you end up liking it, your friends might end up trying it as well.
12. Thank your teachers and tell your favorite teacher that they do a great job.
*cough cough* Mrs. White. Mrs. Barbee. Mr. Ward *cough cough*. School wouldn't be the same without your favorite teachers. So thank them while you can, and even send them a thank you after high school if you had to use something they taught you. I'm glad I had the opportunity to take AP English so I didn't have to take English in college and I wouldn't have been able to if my teacher decided it wasn't a good idea. So thank you to my teachers to having faith in me, in high school and now, and for seeming to be as excited to see me as I am to see you when I come visit. Thank your teachers now and then, your life would be different if they weren't there.
13. Don't hang out with a group of people that make you feel bad for being you.
I was with multiple groups in high school, some who were just like me and some who were nothing close to who I am. I ended up with a good mix of people by the end of senior year. But it also took a lot of feeling bad and not belonging to find this group. So if you're not in a group that you feel happy with, don't be afraid to reach out to other friends in different groups. You want to find your "people". Don't wait.
So whether you are in high school, going into high school, or recently graduated, take these things into account. All you need to do is be happy and try to get the most out of it.
