1. People always ask you to "say something" in your target language.
They get annoyed when you get all shy and modest, and they think you're weird when the first thing that happens to come to your mind is the word for "potato."
2. "Cool, but what are you going to do with a Spanish major?"
This is something I personally hear regularly, but it also applies to any foreign language as a major. Whether you're a freshman who just signed your acceptance letter to whatever college you decide to grace with your presence, or a senior who's about to be forced into the real world, this question will haunt you forever. What is anyone going to do with their degree?
3. "So, like, are you fluent?"
This is like asking people if they're good at sports. If you say, "yes," you're conceited, and if you say, "no," you're an idiot.
4. You sound like a 7-year-old. All the time.
It takes years to become fully fluent in a language, so you'll be in that awkward phase where you have the vocabulary and the grammar of a second-grader for a really long time. Second-graders still hold conversations, though. Don't give up.
5. Humor doesn't translate.
This was my biggest fear when traveling abroad, and it's actually true. I'm hilarious in English (obviously), but weird, self-deprecating, sarcastic humor doesn't exactly translate smoothly into Spanish. I'm still working on that one.
6. You'll never fully belong.
No matter how fast you can talk, or how good your accent gets, native speakers will still either look at you like you're a cute little toddler or like you're a nuisance. Maybe those are the same thing.
7. No matter how hard you try, native speakers always respond in English.
When you go abroad, you can't avoid it. You can't tell if they're doing it because you sound dumb, or they want to practice their English skills.
8. You loose your spunk.
You pride yourself on being able to come up with witty comebacks, and being able to yell at boys when they whistle at you (LOL, like this ever happens to me), but you always wind up tripping over your words, and just making a fool of yourself. Sigh.
9. You always feel like someone is judging you when you're speaking the target language.
If you're speaking in front of a bunch of native speakers, you feel like they're judging you because you definitely sound American. If you're speaking in front of a bunch of your friends who know nothing about the language, you feel like they're judging you because you're showing off. It's a lose-lose situation.
10. Everyone always thinks it's sexy.
This one isn't so bad, I suppose. Just learning a few key phrases can go a long way. You could literally even ask them to "pass the salt," and they'll swoon (or so I've heard). Here are a few examples:
11. No matter how good you get at the language, you'll always freeze up in front of native speakers.
There's just something about them that terrifies you. They're not judging you at all, but somehow, you feel like there's this intense pressure to be perfect. It's like you're in seventh grade again, trying to talk to that boy you like in math class.
12. Idioms begin to ruin your life.
You could be totally fluent, but there are always going to be idioms that you just don't understand. When someone tells you in Spanish that you're "as healthy as a pear," should you take that as a compliment? Does that mean you look like a pear? Is that a good thing? What is happening?
13. There's always someone better than you.
You've always been at the top of all your foreign language classes (which makes up for your chemistry grade, right?), but no matter what, there's always going to be that one a**hole who spends a semester somewhere cool, and comes back totally fluent, and shows you up. No pasa nada.
No matter what, never give up your pursuit of a foreign language. It's not easy, but it is definitely worth it, both professionally and personally speaking. Just find a way to go abroad to a country that speaks your target language. Immersion is key. I mean, hey, after just over two months in Barcelona, I literally morphed into Shakira. So, there's hope for you, too.
